Vote Jokes / Recent Jokes

1. Bush/Cheney '04: We're Gooder!
2. Bush/Cheney '04: Leave no Child a Dime!
3. Bush/Cheney '04: Because the Truth Just isn't Good Enough.
4. Vote Bush in '04: It's a no-brainer!
5. Bush/Cheney '04: Compassionate Colonialism
6. Bush/Cheney '04: Leave no Billionaire Behind
7. Bush/Cheney '04: Putting the "con" in conservatism
8. Bush/Cheney '04: Thanks for not Paying Attention
9. Bush/Cheney '04: The Last Vote You'll Ever Have to Cast
10. Bush/Cheney '04: This Time, Elect Us!
11. Bush/Cheney '04: Four More Wars
12. Bush/Cheney '04: Asses of Evil
13. Bush/Cheney '04: Assimilate. Resistance is Futile
14. Bush/Cheney '04: Apocalypse Now!
15. Vote Bush in '04: Because Dictatorship is Easier
16. George W. Bush: A Brainwave away from the Presidency
17. George W. Bush: It Takes a Village Idiot
18. Don't Think. Vote Bush!
19. BU_ _SH_ _!

An anonymous source in the Democratic Party has revealed that the sweeping landslide victory of the Republicans in November may have been due to an obscure bug in the Intel Pentium computer chip.
Upgrading the nationwide vote counting system to the latest technology was one of Vice-President Al Gore's "Reinventing Government" initiatives. This change was meant to reduce costs and streamline operations, however, the computer glitch may have cost the Whitehouse dearly.
A spokesman for the Democratic Party denied the rumor that several thousand Power-PC's had been purchased as part of a vote recount effort.
When questioned about the news Senator Bob Dole (r) commented that he believed the Intel Pentium chip was far better than anyone had thought. A short statement released by Newt Gingrich's office indicated that "the Democratic party has always sought to divide America and that this discovery of an FDIV bug in the Intel Chip was clear evidence of the moral more...

You might be a child of the 80's if...... you have deep, personal relationships via computer with people you've never met in real life.... the phrase "going courting", to you, means fighting an unjust traffic ticket or playing tennis.... you know, by heart, the words to any "Weird" Al Yankovic song.... not that you'd do it personally, but body piercing captivates your attention.... you remember the days when cocaine was just fine in powder form, thankyouverymuch.... you think the "the Gay 90's" refers to this decade and sexual orientation.... the Brady Bunch movie brought back cool memories.... you remember the first time "Space: Above and Beyond" aired - it was called "Battlestar Galactica".... songs by Debbie Gibson still haunt you to this day.... three words: "Atari" "IntelliVision" and "Coleco". Sound familiar?... you remember the days that hooking your computer into your television wasn't an expensive more...

I don’t vote. There, I said it. I don’t know the issues. I don’t really understand the definition of Republican or Democrat. I do know that if I look up the word "oxymoron" I’ll see “honest politician.”
I don’t ever get to affect my life by voting. Where’s the vote on lower rent? Where’s the vote on the subway fare decrease? Can we get a politician to give us an audit to the penny as to where all of the money goes from subway fares? How does that money not pay for everything? When do I get to vote on checking the green cards of taxi drivers? Is there a vote on parade and street fair elimination? Is anyone working on more stringent laws against homeless people sleeping or begging or (god forbid) singing on the subway? Can we vote to give Isaiah Thomas and the Knicks the death penalty?
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Q: What's the dumbest thing you can do with e-mail?
A: Ask Christopher James Reincke about his message to President Clinton:
"I am curious, Bill, how you would feel about being the first president to be killed on the same day as his wife... You will die soon..."
He signed it "Overlord." Sure he sent it anonymously, but anonymous e-mail is for protecting yourself from nasty, late-night phone calls, not the Secret Service.
With help from the university, they tracked him down and arrested him. He was released without bail, pending a hearing, and faces five years in jail and up to a $250,000 fine. Don't try this at home.
(Interned World, July/August, 1994: 17)
Which of the following are true about Christopher James Reincke:
Believes that Rush Limbaugh gives a balanced report of news
Tells ugly Chelsea jokes
Member of Young Americans for Freedom and College Republicans
Believes that American has lost its moral moorings, like more...

Two candidates for political office inadvertently scheduled simultaneous campaign rallys in the same park of a small New England town. After a lengthy round of speeches, the candidates worked their way through the crowd - shaking hands, kissing babies and beaming mightily.
Suddenly, the skies opened and it began to rain. One of the candidates fled to take shelter in a nearby restaurant along with half a dozen regulars. The other candidate, however, continued to move through the crowd - shaking hands, kissing babies, etc.
"That man's persistence yonder," observed one of the natives, "sure makes it easy to know who to vote for."
"Yep," another native agreed. "Sure can't see myself casting a vote for a man who hasn't the good sense to come in out of the rain."

"Please don't vote for me just because I look like an Osmond."