Vote Jokes / Recent Jokes
Iraqi citizens are being given flags, blankets, and even chickens to get them to vote. After a close election, Colonel Sanders has been elected president.
Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it". For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50". The next day someone stole it. Caution!. . . . . . . . . . These people Vote
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While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent
which direction was North because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the North?"
When my brother explained that the sun rises in the East, (and has for sometime), she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff".. . . . . . . . She ALSO votes!
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I used to work in technical more...
According to a Syracuse University professor, liberals are losing their base because 80% of children vote as their parents vote and, "Conservatives have more children than liberals."
He added, "Women hoping to preserve their abortion rights should do so by not exercising them."
Eight ways to tell if you should vote One Nation:
1 You think the stock market has a fence around it
2 You believe Year 10 was the best six years of your life
3 You stare at an orange-juice container because it says "concentrate"
4 You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader
5 You go to a family reunion looking for a date
6 You think the billboard "Say no to crack" means to pull up your jeans
7 You've refused to watch the Academy Awards since Smokey and the Bandit was snubbed for best picture
8 You think a Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy
Can we count them with our nose?
Can we count them with our toes?
Should we count them with a band?
Should we count them all by hand?
If I do not like the count,
I will simply throw them out.
I will not let this vote count stand.
I do not like them, AL GORE I am!
Can we change these numbers here?
Can we change them, calm my fears?
What do you mean, Dubya has won?
This is not fair, this is not fun.
Let's count them upside down this time.
Let's count until the state is mine.
I will not let this vote count stand.
I do not like it, AL GORE I am!
I'm really ticked, I'm in a snit.
You have not heard the last of it.
I'll count the ballots one by one.
And hold each one up to the sun.
I'll count, recount, and count some more.
You'll grow to hate this little chore.
But I will not, cannot let this vote count stand.
I do not like it, Al Gore I am!
I won't leave office, I'm stayin' here.
I've glued more...
Can we count them with our nose? Can we count them with our toes? Should we count them with a band? Should we count them all by hand? If I do not like the count, I will simply throw them out.I will not let this vote count stand.I do not like them, AL GORE I am! Can we change these numbers here? Can we change them, calm my fears? What do you mean, Dubya has won? This is not fair, this is not fun.Let's count them upside down this time.Let's count until the state is mine.I will not let this vote count stand.I do not like it, AL GORE I am! I'm really ticked, I'm in a snit.You have not heard the last of it.I'll count the ballots one by one.And hold each one up to the sun.I'll count, recount, and count some more.You'll grow to hate this little chore.But I will not, cannot let this vote count stand.I do not like it, Al Gore I am! I won't leave office, I'm stayin' here.I've glued my desk chair to my rear.Tipper, Hillary, and Bubba, too, all telling me that I should sue.We find the Electoral more...