Vision Jokes / Recent Jokes

A sex therapist was doing research at the local college when one of the male volunteers told him, "When I get it in part way, my vision blurs. And when I get it all the way in, I can't see a thing.""Hmmm...that's an interesting optical reaction to sex," said the researcher. "Would you mind if I had a look at it?"So the volunteer stuck out his tongue!

A long time ago when America was being settled, a group of people headed west in a wagon train from the east coast. The wagon train leader was very inexperienced and soon the people realized they were hopelessly lost. After wandering for weeks and weeks, their food supplies were gone and winter was fast approaching.
As the group came over a hill they saw the first person they had seen for days; a strange old man sitting beneath a tree. The leader of the wagon train approached the man. "Can you help us? We're heading west but we're lost and all our food is gone. We're starving."
The old man replied, "You know, I can see the future... Wait... I'm getting a vision now." He held one hand to his brow and closed his eyes in concentration. "It's coming. Oh yes, I see, I see."
"I know what you must do. Go up this hill and down the other side. Go through the forest and across the stream. Then go up the next hill and down to the valley below. There more...

Isn't it scary that the word "therapist" is the same as the words "the" and "rapist" put together?
Do sheep get static cling when they rub against one another?
On a telephone, why does ABC start on the number 2 and not 1?
Do pigs pull ham strings?
Do dumped farmers get John Deere letters?
Why do radio operators say "niner" instead of just "nine"?
Why do people say heads up when you should duck?
Why did Superman wear his briefs on the outside of his tights?
Does anyone actually kill two birds with one stone?
Why do they call the clock where you punch your time card called a "time" clock? Aren't all clocks "time" clocks?
Why does blow and suck mean the same thing when we describe something being crap?
Can dogs have dog days?
When a male is elected president and his wife is called the First Lady. What would a lady's husband be called if she were elected president?
If more...

One day superman was flying around trying to think of things to do. He was bored and had no one to talk to so decided to call up some old friends.
He first called spider man and said, "Hey how are you doing, I have not seen you for awhile and thought you might like to hang out." Spider man told him that he was awfully busy and just happen to be in hot pursuit of bad guys at that very moment. He was in the middle of climbing a wall to catch some crooks and was talking on his cell phone so had to go. Superman was beginning to get bummed.
He thought and thought and suddenly came up with Batman and Robin so decided to call. He got them on the Bat phone and said, "Hey guys I'm just out flying around and thought that you guys would like to go chase some girls around for a little while." Batman and Robin said they were sorry but did not have time, they were in the middle of chasing the Joker in their Bat Mobile and really could not talk. "What should I go more...