Windows Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Why does a blonde have curtains on her PC?
    To open windows

    Microsoft announced plans to open retail stores, hoping to boost visibility of many of its products and its brand. The move seems to be an effort to mimic the success that Apple has had with its retail stores. The news is just too tempting not to have some fun with. So here are some yet-to-be-officially-revealed details about the Microsoft stores.

    1) Instead of Apple's sheer walls of glass, Microsoft's stores will have brushed steel walls dotted with holes -- reminiscent of Windows security.

    2) The store will have six different entrances: Starter, Basic, Premium, Professional, Enterprise, and Ultimate. While all six doors will lead into the same store, the Ultimate door requires a fee of $100 for no apparent reason.

    3) Instead of a "Genius Bar" (as Apple provides) Microsoft will offer an Excuse Bar. It will be staffed by Microsofties trained in the art of evading questions, directing you to complicated and obscure fixes, and explaining it's a more...

    •WinErr: 001 Windows loaded - System in danger
    •WinErr: 002 No Error - Yet
    •WinErr: 003 Dynamic linking error - Your mistake is now in every file
    •WinErr: 004 Erronious error - Nothing is wrong
    •WinErr: 005 Multitasking attempted - System confused
    •WinErr: 006 Malicious error - Desqview found on drive
    •WinErr: 007 System price error - Inadeqaute money spent on hardware
    •WinErr: 008 Broken window - Watch out for glass fragments
    •WinErr: 009 Horrible bug encountered - God knows what has happened
    •WinErr: 00A Promotional literature overflow - Mailbox full
    •WinErr: 00B Inadeqaute disk space - Free at least 50MB
    •WinErr: 00C Memory hog error - More Ram needed. More! More! More!
    •WinErr: 00D Window closed - Do not look outside
    •WinErr: 00E Window open - Do not look inside
    •WinErr: 00F Unexplained error - Please tell us how this happened
    •WinErr: 010 Reserved for future mistakes by our more...

    Humorous Computer-Related Acronyms

    IBM

    I Blame Microsoft

    Idiots Buy Me

    Idiots Building Machines

    I'll Buy Macintoshes

    It Bit Me

    It Built Microsoft

    It's Better Manually

    I've Been Mislead

    I've Been Mugged

    WINDOWS

    Well, It Never Does Operate With Speed

    When I Need Data Output Without Speed

    While Idle, Needs DX or WorkStation

    Will Install Needless Data On Whole System

    WIN

    Whoppingly Immense NOP

    Worm Infestation Netware

    MS-WINDOWS NT / WINDOWS NT

    My Solitaire With Its New De-accelerator, Only With Some Network Technology

    Well Intended, Netword De-accelerator, Only Works Sometimes, Never Totally

    WINDOWS (as a) Network Trojan

    Different Operating Systems Expectations

    Macintosh: What You See Is What You Get

    MS-DOS: You Asked more...

    WINDOWS - Will Install Needless Data On Whole System GIRO - Garbage In Rubbish Out. MIPS - Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed. BASIC - Bill`s Attempt to Seize Industry Control. DEC - Do Expect Cuts. CD-ROM - Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months. OS/2 - Obsolete Soon, Too. AMIGA - A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction. WWW - World Wide Wait. IBM = Imbecile Behind Macintosh. MACINTOSH - Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs.

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