Transplant Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Q. What is the worst thing about a lung transplant?
    A. The first time you cough, it is not your phlegm.

    A man needing a heart transplant is told by his doctor that the only heart available is that of a sheep.
    The man finally agrees and the doctor transplants the sheep heart into the man.
    A few days after the operation, the man comes in for a checkup.
    The doctor asks him "How are you feeling?"
    The man replies "Not BAAAAD!"

    A MegaLaw visitor submission:

    A man confers with his cardiologist about some serious heart problems. Upon examination, the cardiologist confirms that the man requires a heart transplant. He informs his patient of this frightening news, but tells him not to worry:

    "Fortunately for you, sir, we have two hearts available for transplant immediately. Not only is there no waiting list for these organs, but you actually have the opportunity to choose between the two. The first is from a twenty-three year old triathelete. The second is from an eighty year old attorney. Now, my good man, I think your decision should be rather simple. But, nevertheless, which do you choose?"

    "The attorney's heart, of course."

    "You cannot be serious. You actually select the heart of an eighty year old man versus that of a much younger man accustomed do running and biking hundreds of miles? What, may I ask, is your more...

    An elderly man was in need of a heart transplant and his doctor was discussing his options with him.
    "We have three possible donors, Mr. Smith." the doctor said. "You'll have to tell me which one you'd like us to use. The first is a healthy athlete who was killed in a car crash. The second is a middle-aged businessman who died in an accident, never having had a drink and never having smoked his entire life. The third is a lawyer who died after practicing law for 25 years."
    The patient thought it over and told his doctor that he would take the lawyer's heart.
    After a successful transplant, the doctor asked the patient his reason for choosing the donor he did.
    "It was an easy decision, doctor," replied the patient. "I wanted a heart that hadn't been used."

    China - Ah... Capitalism is alive and well in China as a southern Chinese hospital sells livers from executed prisoners to wealthy Asian transplant patients. A Hong Kong newspaper reported on Sunday that undercover reporters were urged to book a liver from a good young prisoner during the current spate of mass executions that precedes the Chinese New Year. Our experience tells us that there are many organs before the Lunar New Year, a doctor from the Sun Yat Sen University Hospital in Guangzhou told the South China Sunday Morning Post. If you miss this chance, you may have to wait until Labor Day. China has always insisted that donations are voluntary. But doctors from the hospital told the Post that consent was not required for criminals and most organs came from executed prisoners. The hospital, which subsequently denied the doctors comments, charges about 20, 000 pounds for a liver transplant.

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