Lung Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Q. What is the worst thing about a lung transplant?
    A. The first time you cough, it is not your phlegm.

    #
    Your left lung is smaller in size than your right lung, it is like that in order to make room for your heart.
    #
    Until babies are six months old, they can breathe and swallow at the same time
    #
    Male human brains are about 10 percent heavier than female brains
    #
    Before 1800 there were no separately designed shoes for right and left feet
    #
    The glossy look to lipstick comes from fish scales, which are iridescent
    #
    To find out if a watermelon is ripe, knock it, and if it sounds hollow then it is ripe
    #
    Honey is used as a center for golf balls and in antifreeze mixtures
    #
    The original name for the butterfly was 'flutterby'
    #
    Your body weight is lower at 9 A.M. than at any other time of the day
    #
    The average person is about a quarter of an inch taller at night
    #
    40% of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals
    #
    Without any greenhouse effect, Earth would be cold more...

    This is a stairy fory.
    Tonce upon a wime there was a gritty little pearl named Prinderella. She lived with her two sisty uglers and her nicked wepstother. She weaned the clindows, flubbed the scores and did all the wirty durk, which was a shirty dame.
    Don way the Cince issued a cropplamation that all geligable lung yadies should attend a drancy fess bistmas crawl.
    Now poor Prinderella didn't have a drancy fess; all she had was a rirty dag.
    Then, along came her gairy fedmother and in the eyeling of a twink she turned her rirty dag into a drancy fess.
    So, Prinderella bent to the wall and pranced and pranced with the Cince. But, on the moke of stridnight she ran down the stalace peps and on the stottom bep slopped a dripper; which was, of course, another shirty dame.
    The dext nay, the Cince issued another croplamation, that all geligable lung yadies who had attended the drancy fess ball, should sly on the tripper.
    When the sisty uglers slied on the more...

    #
    Your left lung is smaller in size than your right lung, it is like that in order to make room for your heart.
    #
    Until babies are six months old, they can breathe and swallow at the same time
    #
    Male human brains are about 10 percent heavier than female brains
    #
    Before 1800 there were no separately designed shoes for right and left feet
    #
    The glossy look to lipstick comes from fish scales, which are iridescent
    #
    To find out if a watermelon is ripe, knock it, and if it sounds hollow then it is ripe
    #
    Honey is used as a center for golf balls and in antifreeze mixtures
    #
    The original name for the butterfly was 'flutterby'
    #
    Your body weight is lower at 9 A.M. than at any other time of the day
    #
    The average person is about a quarter of an inch taller at night
    #
    40% of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals
    #
    Without any greenhouse effect, Earth would be cold more...

    A man takes his father to the doctor.

    At the office, the doctor tells the old man, "I'm sorry, sir, but you have lung cancer. You'll be dead in a year."

    On the way home, the old man turns to his grief-stricken son and says, "Quit all that cryin'! I'm not depressed. I've lived 75 great years. How' bout you and me go to my favorite bar and have a couple beers with my friends?"

    So while the guys are having their beers, the old man breaks the news to his friends. "Fellas," he says, "I'll be dead in a year' cause I got AIDS."

    On the way home, his son asks, "Dad, why did you lie to your friends?"

    His dad replies, "'Cause when I die, I don't want them trying to fuck your mother!"

  • Recent Activity