Superman Jokes / Recent Jokes

I saw the new Superman movie over the weekend and my first and overwhelming reaction:
Boy, are the people in Metroplis stupid! And if I ever commit a crime, I want those gullible morons in my jury.
(I won't reveal any major plot points, except for the whole "Superman was away" thing which is kinda implied by the Superman returns title anyway) So, naturally, Clark Kent was away for five years, too.
So as soon as Clark Kent comes back into town, Superman starts saving people?
Coincidence? You'd think not, but apparently these Metropolian morons can't put two and two together even when you're prompting them with "ffffoooouuuu..."
What's even more annoying is they actually include a scene where a couple of them are close to figuring it out, and then Clark looks over and gives them a goofy smile and akward wave, and they're like, "Ha! We were really on the wrong track with THAT one!"

One night in Metropolis, Superman was sitting at home, extremely bored and was wanting to have a quick fling.
Upon realizing that he in fact had super powers he decided to start flying around to find a suitable "partner"
After flying around for an hour Superman spotted Wonder Woman completely naked and groaning with pleasure on her bed in front of an open window.
Since he was faster than a speeding bullet he decided to quickly fly down there have sex with her and fly away
Immediately after Superman flew away, Wonder Woman sat up and said, "Did you feel that?"
"No," said the Invisible Man, "but my ass is killing me."

Bored Superman

One sunny afternoon Superman was out flying around. Crime was
slow that
day,
so he decided to go over to Spiderman's house.
"Hey Spidey, let's go get a burger and a beer!".
"No cando, Supe. I've got a problem with my Web-shooter. Can't
fight
crime
tomorrow without it".
So Superman heads over to the Bat Cave to see what's up. "Hey,
Batman!
Let's go get a burger and a beer!"
"Not today, my friend. My BatMobile is down and it must be fixed
today.
Can't
fight crime tomorrow without it".
Disgruntled, Superman takes to the air, cruising around the skies
when
he flies over a penthouse apartment. And what to his SuperVision
does
he see, but none other than WonderWoman, lying on the deck,
spread-
eagle, stark-naked! Superman gets a brilliant idea:
"They've always said I'm faster than a speeding bullet and more...

Superman only has two weeknesses. Kryptonite and a round house kick from Chuck Norris.

Touring over the town one night, Superman looked down and saw Wonder Woman laying on the beach stark naked.
"Finally," he thought to himself, "here's my chance with the woman of my dreams."
He zoomed down, did his thing, and left.
"What the hell was that?" asked Wonder Woman.
"I don't know," replied the Invisible Man, "but my ass sure is sore!"

Sadly, in the most recent comic book, Superman reveals that he has only been able to retain his super powers because of performance enhancers injected by A-Rod's cousin.

there was this boy and he wa in kindergarden and his teacher told the class that thier homework was to go home and find three word to add to thier spelling list and the boy wa walking home he seen this girl said to her said to her brother shut up and then he seen this guy say to his girlfriend come on baby lets go then he seen some kid say superman then he said ok i have my three words for tomarrow.so the next day his teacher said timmy what is your three words he said shut up the teacher said yound man do you want to go to the principles office he said come on baby lets go she said who do you thank you are he aid superman!!!