Suggestion Jokes / Recent Jokes

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods. On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. (Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair). On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)? On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???.....) On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion). On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)! On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding - "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????....) On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time)? On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or more...

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...
On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)
(Whose body?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or more...

A lovely afternoon finds one fellow and his wife golfing. They have had a wonderful time and the man has had a near perfect game. The final hole, by far the most difficult, wraps around an old barn. With a terrible slice the man puts the barn between his ball and the green. Knowing that the strokes that it will take to get around the barn will destroy his score, he begins to rant and rave. His wife hating to see him ruin such a great afternoon makes a suggestion.
"What if I were to hold open the barn doors? That way you could send it right through the barn onto the green."
He thinks this over and decides that it will work. With his wife holding open the barn door he lines up with the hole and gives the ball a terrific "whack"! The ball shoots through the air and right into the head of his wife, killing her instantly.
Months go by, the man mourning all the while. His friends, hating to see him in such a state, convince him to go golfing with them. more...

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)
(Whose body?)On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to more...

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:On a Sear's hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time)?On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after more...

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
On a Sear's hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well... duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (... and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time)?
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: more...

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. (Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???.....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down." (well... duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding - "Product will be hot after heating." (... and you thought????....)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time)?
On Boot's Children Cough more...