Sucked Jokes / Recent Jokes

Once there was a mirror that sucked people into it if they lied. So this brunette walked up to it and said, "I think I am the most beautiful person in the whole world..." and it sucked her in. Then a redhead walked up to it and said, "I think I am the most wonderful person in the whole world..." and it sucked her in too. Then a blonde walked up to it and said, "I think . . " and it sucked her in.

Two blokes are in a bar on top of the Empire State Building. One says to the other "You know, if you jump off of this building you get sucked in at the 10th floor". The other one laughs and says "No way, man. Prove it"
The first guy agrees and they both go to the edge. He jumps off and whoof! He gets sucked in at the 10th floor. When he gets back to the top the second guy, standing in shock, says "I don't believe it! Let me try".
So the second guy jumps off and splat! He falls to his death. The first guy goes back into the bar. When he gets back there, the bartender tuts and says "You know Superman, you can be a real bastard when your drunk!

a brown, a red head, and a blonde were at the carnival and walked by an old man who said " come try out my lie detector machine. If you lie you will be sucked up a tube." The three ladies decided to try out the machine. The brown head said "Im the prettiest girl in the world," so she got sucked up the tube. The red head said
" im the richest person in the world," so she got sucked up the tube. The blonde said " I think..., " so she got sucked up the tube.

Three men go into a whore house. The first one goes up to a hooker and says "What can I get for $100?" The hooker motions for him to follow her into a room. For the next half hour the other two men hear a fair amount of "Ooohing" and "Ahhing"... When he comes out, the men ask what she did to him. He tells them that she put chocolate ice cream on his dick and sucked it off. The second man pays $1000 and goes in the room with the hooker. He comes out half an hour later and tells the other two men that she put chocolate ice cream, caramel, and whooped cream on it and sucked it off. So the third man goes in with $10, 000. The men hear sounds from the room. Moaning and groaning and then they hear a loud yell coming from the man. He comes out holding onto his crotch and says in agony, "She put on ice cream and syrup and whooped cream and a cherry on top. It looked so good I decided to have a bite myself!"

Greg lives above a bar, and one day he was walking up the stairs after losing his job. A man comes up to him and says, "You are looking really down. I know how to make you feel better. Watch this. I'll jump off the 4th story and be sucked in the 2nd."

He jumps off and was sucked in through the 2nd story window.

"Wow, that was cool, I'm gonna do it!" says Greg.

Greg jumps off the roof and landed hard on the ground, dead. The man who was safe in the 2nd story walked down to the bar and orders a drink.

The bartender says to him, "Superman, you shouldn't mess with people's minds like that."

Three women, a blonde, a brunette and a redhead, entered a room where they saw a magic mirror. If you looked into the mirror and told the truth, you got a wish. If you told a lie, you got sucked into the mirror for eternity.
The redhead walked up to the mirror and said, "I think I am the most beautiful girl in the world." The mirror sucked her up.
Then, the brunette walked up to the mirror and said, "I think I am the most beautiful girl in the world." The mirror sucked her up.
Next, the blonde walked up to the mirror and said, "I think", and the mirror quickly sucked her up.

A blonde, burnett and red head walked in to a bar and saw a sing it said you can win a million dollars. They asked "
how can we win that cash."
The bar tender responder"
go into the chicks bathing room and look directly in the 3rd mirror and tell it what you think you are. if your right a million dollars will spit in 100$bills. If your wrong you'll be sucked in the mirror.
so the burnett walks in first and says "
I think I think I'm the richest girl in the bar"
and a million dollars spews out.
then the red head walks and to the 3rd mirror and says "
I think I think I'm the smartest girl in the bar"
and 1000000 dollars poped out.
Then the blonde goes in and right to the third mirror looks striaght at it and says "
I think I think"
shazam and she got sucked in to the mirror.