Stingy Jokes

A stingy old attorney, who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness, was determined to prove wrong the saying, "You can't take it with you." After much thought and consideration, the old ambulance chaser finally figured out how to take at least some of his money with him when he died.
He instructed his wife to go to the bank and withdraw enough money to fill two pillow cases. He then directed her to take the bags of money to the attic and leave them directly above his bed. His plan was that when he passed away, he would reach out and grab the bags on his way to heaven.
Several weeks after the funeral, the deceased attorney's wife, up in the attic cleaning, came upon the two forgotten pillow cases stuffed with cash.
"Oh, that darned old fool," she exclaimed. "I knew he should have had me put the money in the basement."

There was a very stingy man who never gave entertainments at home. One day, his neighbor obtained the use of his hall and gave a banquet there. A passer-by who saw the scene of bustle and excitement asked the valet of the stingy man: "Is your master entertaining his guests today?" "Decidedly not, " answered the valet. " It'll be a generation hence that you will hear of our master giving a dinner party. " His master happened to overhear the remark and soundly berated him: "Who gave you leave to fix a date?"

A stingy old lawyer who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness was determined to prove wrong the saying, "You can? t take it with you."After much thought and consideration, the old ambulance-chaser finally figured out how to take at least some of his money with him when he died. He instructed his wife to go to the bank and withdraw enough money to fill two pillow cases. He then directed her to take the bags of money to the attic and leave them directly above his bed. His plan: When he passed away, he would reach out and grab the bags on his way to heaven. Several weeks after the funeral, the deceased lawyer? s wife, up in the attic cleaning, came upon the two forgotten pillow cases stuffed with cash. "Oh, that darned old fool," she exclaimed. "I knew he should have had me put the money in the basement."