Steps Jokes / Recent Jokes

The recent announcement that Donner and Blitzen have elected to take the early reindeer retirement package has triggered a good deal of concern about whether they will be replaced and about other restructuring decisions at the North Pole.
Streamlining was appropriate in view of the reality that the North Pole no longer dominates the season's gift distribution business. Home shopping channels and mail order catalogues have diminished Santa's market share, and he could not sit idly by and permit further erosion of the profit picture.
The reindeer downsizing was made possible through the purchase of a late model Japanese sled for the CEO's annual trip. Improved productivity from Dasher and Dancer, who summered at the Harvard Business School, is anticipated and should take up the slack with no discernible loss of service. Reduction in reindeer will also lessen airborne environmental emissions for which the North Pole has been cited and received unfavorable press.
I am more...

Season's Greetings,
The recent announcement that Donner and Blitzen have elected to take the early reindeer retirement package has triggered a good deal of concern about whether they will be replaced, and about other restructuring decisions at the North Pole.
Streamlining was appropriate in view of the reality that the North Pole no longer dominates the season's gift distribution business. Home shopping channels and mail order catalogues have diminished Santa's market share and he could not sit idly by and permit further erosion of the profit picture.
The reindeer downsizing was made possible through the purchase of a late model Japanese sled for the CEO's annual trip. Improved productivity from Dasher and Dancer, who summered at the Harvard Business School, is anticipated and should take up the slack with no discernible loss of service. Reduction in reindeer will also lessen airborne environmental emissions for which the North Pole has been cited and received unfavourable more...

A guy goes in a bar and gets really drunk and starts to walk home. Every 2 steps he falls.
So he is 2 steps away from his doorway and he falls in. Then he tries to walk up the stairs quietly and get in bed.
In the morning his wife gets up before him and says "Were you drinking lastnight?"
He asks, "how did you know?"
She says "you left your wheelchair at the bar"

There were three girls who died in a car crash and went to heaven. At the pearly gates, they are told not to step on a duck or they will be punished for eternity. They look on thinking it won't be too hard, but much to their dismay, there are ducks EVERYWHERE! They step into heaven, and the first girl immediatly steps on a duck. She gets hand-cuffed to the ugliest man she had ever seen for eternity. The other two go a week happily in heaven, but then, the next girl steps on a duck. She is hand-cuffed to the second ugliest man they have ever seen, the first being the man that the first girl to step on a duck had been chained too. Well, another week goes by and the last girl has not stepped on a duck yet. As a reward, she is hand-cuffed to the most handsome man she had ever seen for eternity. She says aloud, "What did I do to deserve this?" The man in reply turns to her and says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"

...for some important guests. The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn't have any snails for the dinner party, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with the bucket to gather some snails. Very grudgingly he agreed.He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps, and out to the beach. As he was collecting the snails, he noticed a beautiful woman strolling alongside the water just a little further down the beach. He kept thinking to himself, "Wouldn't it be great if she would even just come down and talk to me?" He went back to gathering the snails.All of a sudden he looked up, and the beautiful woman was standing right over him. They started talking and she invited him back to her place.
They ended up spending the night together. At seven o'clock the next morning he woke up and exclaimed, "Oh no! My wife's dinner party!" He gathered all his clothes, put them more...

The following is taken from a Florida newspaper:
A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife was in the house in the kitchen. The
man was racing the engine on the motorcycle and somehow, the motorcycle slipped into gear. The man,
still holding the handlebars, was dragged through a glass patio door and the motorcycle dumped onto
the floor inside the house.
The wife, hearing the crash, ran into the dining room, and found her husband laying on the floor, cut
and bleeding, the motorcycle laying next to him and the patio door shattered. The wife ran to the
phone and summoned an ambulance.
Because they lived on a fairly large hill, the wife went down the several flights of long steps to
the street to direct the paramedics to her husband.
After the ambulance arrived and transported the husband to the hospital, the wife uprighted the
motorcycle and pushed it outside. Seeing that gas had spilled on the floor, the wife more...

Three women die together in an accident
and go to heaven. When they get there,
St. Peter says, "We only have one rule
here in heaven... don't step on the ducks."
So they entered heaven, and sure enough,
there are ducks all over the place. It
is almost impossible not to step on a
duck, and although they try their best
to avoid them, the first woman
accidentally steps on one.
Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest
man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them
together and says, "Your punishment for
Stepping on a duck is to spend eternity
chained to this ugly man!" The next
day, the second woman steps accidentally
on a duck, and along comes St. Peter,
who doesn't miss a thing, and with him
is another extremely ugly man. He
chains them together with the same
admonishment as for the first woman.
The third woman has observed all this
and not wanting to be chained for more...