Soup Jokes / Recent Jokes
It all depends on local custom. In Australia, a fly in one’s soup results in it being sent back to the kitchen and a row with the management.
In England, the head waiter quietly, daintily, fastidiously extracts the fly and removes it beneath a serviette.
In France, the soup is eaten, the fly left high and dry on the side of the bowl.
In the Orient, the fly is eaten first and washed down by the soup.
In Scotland, the fly is shaken over the bowl and carefully wrung out. Then the soup is consumed.
And there are places where the diner stares into the bowl and complains. “What’s this? Only one fly? ”
There were 3 men having soup together in a restaurant. One was white, the others were Asian and Jewish. They all found out that there was a fly in each of their soups. The white guy was horrified and called the waiter to replace the soup. The Asian guy saw what the white guy did, and said "such a waste of food." He then spooned out the fly and threw it away. The Jewish guy saw what both men did, and said "Such a waste of food." He then picked the fly up with his fingers, squeezed the soup out of it and sucked it, then threw it away.
A man was suffering from impotence, so he went to see a specialist. The doctor gave him a prescription that he was to take faithfully three times a day, and always with food.
A couple of days later, the man was at a formal banquet and didn't want any of the other guests to spot and possibly identify his pink and purple capsule of medication. So, he instructed the waiter to empty the capsule into his soup, thinking he could eat his soup openly with everyone else, take his medication, and preserve his privacy all at the same time.
However, when the soup was served everyone received a bowl of it but the man, who began feeling conspicuous and angry. He confronted the waiter and asked why he hadn't been served his 'special' soup.
"Well, sir, I poured your medication into your bowl as instructed. Since then, I have been waiting for the noodles to lie down."
Man In Restaurant:"Waiter, This Soup Tastes Funny. Waiter:: "Then Why Aren't You Laughing Sir?
Q. What kind of crackers do firemen like in their soup?
A. Firecrackers!
If Restaurants Functioned Like Microsoft... Patron: Waiter! Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support.Waiter: What seems to be the problem? Patron: There's a fly in my soup! Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time. Patron: No, it's still there. Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup. Try eating it with a fork instead. Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there. Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl. What kind of bowl are you using? Patron: A SOUP bowl! Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem. How was the bowl set up? Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer. What has that to do with the fly in my soup?! Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup? Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day! Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day? Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day?? Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the more...
...your church library has three Jell-O cookbooks.. ..it's time to change a lightbulb and the left side of the aisle begins a debate on "change," while the right side of the aisle musters five volunteers--one to hold the bulb, and four to turn the ladder.. ..you laugh out loud while reading this list, and relive your childhood at the same time.. .. you think the four food groups are coffee, lefse, lutefisk, and Jell-O.. ..you can actually come up with responses to this.. ..you sign a petition to have Campbell Soup Co. rename its "Cream of Mushroom soup" "Lutheran Binder!". ..you actually think the pastor's jokes are funny.. ..the bumper sticker on your car says, "Legalize Lutefisk!"