Soup Jokes / Recent Jokes

The dinner guests A Jewish family invited their Redneck neighbors over for holiday dinner.
The first course was set in front of them and the Jewish couple announced, "This is soup made with matzoh balls."
On seeing the 2 large matzoh balls in the soup, the redneck man was hesitant to taste this strange looking brew. Gently, the Jewish couple urged him to, "Just have a taste. If you don't like it, you don't have to finish it."
Finally he agrees. He digs his spoon in, first picking up a small piece of matzoh ball with some soup in the spoon, and tasting it gingerly. The usual mmmm sound can be heard coming from somewhere deep in his chest, and he quickly finished the soup.
"That was delicious," he said, but I was wondering... "Can you eat any other parts of the matzoh?"

A Jewish family invited their Redneck neighbors over for holiday dinner.

The first course was set in front of them and the Jewish couple announced, "This is soup made with matzoh balls."

On seeing the 2 large matzoh balls in the soup, the redneck man was hesitant to taste this strange looking brew. Gently, the Jewish couple urged him to, "Just have a taste. If you don't like it, you don't have to finish it."

Finally he agrees. He digs his spoon in, first picking up a small piece of matzoh ball with some soup in the spoon, and tasting it gingerly. The usual mmmm sound can be heard coming from somewhere deep in his chest, and he quickly finished the soup.

"That was delicious," he said, but I was wondering...
"Can you eat any other parts of the matzoh?"

When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed. "Good heavens," he said, "what is this?"

"Why, it's bean soup," she replied.

"I don't care what it has been," he sputtered. "What is it now?"

Is chicken soup good for your health? Not if you're the chicken!

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Sorry, wrong door.
Okay.

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Federal Express
Federal Express who?
I don’t know. I just deliver packages.

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Tom.
Tom who?
Tom Buchanan.
Hi Tom.

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Pizza delivery guy.
Pizza delivery guy who?
You ordered a pizza?
Yes.
I’m the guy delivering it.
Great.

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Susan.
Susan who?
Susan Caldwell.
I’ll be right out, Susan.

Knock, knock
Who’s there.
You might be a redneck if… you think tobacco is a vegetable.
You might be a redneck if… you think tobacco is a vegetable who?
I thought this was a redneck joke.
Nope. It’s a knock, knock joke.
Oops.

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Boo
Boo who
Don’t get so upset, more...

When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed. "Good heavens," he said, "what is this?" "Why, it's bean soup," she replied." I don't care what it has been," he sputtered. "What is it now?"

Dumb New Jersey Laws
# You cannot pump your own gas. All gas stations are full service and full service only. [Reader Comments on this Law.]
# On a highway you can not park under a bridge.
# It is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season.
# It is against the law to "frown" at a police officer.
# If you have been convicted of driving while intoxicated, you may never again apply for personalized license plates.
# Car dealerships are forbidden from opening on Sunday.
# You may not slurp your soup.
# Automobiles are not to pass horse drawn carriages on the street.
# It is illegal to delay or detain a homing pigeon.
Bernards Township
# It is illegal to frown as the town is a "Frown-Free Town Zone".
Caldwell
# You may not dance or wear shorts on the main avenue.
Cranford
# Citizens are not permitted to park their own boat on their lawn.
Cresskill
# All cats must wear more...