Sore Jokes / Recent Jokes
A drunk walks into a bar and notices a banner that says "win $10, 000; ask bartender for details".
He asks and the bartender says "well, you see that man at the end of the bar?". The drunk looks over and sees a huge, burley dude. The bartender says "if you can knock him out with one punch, you go to the second step...
The door right behind that big guy opens into a room containing an alligator with a sore tooth. If you can pull his tooth and come out alive, you move on to step three...
Those stairs next to the door go up to an eighty year old hooker's apartment. She has never been satisfied by any man. If you can satisfy her, you win the money!"
The drunk says ok and orders a double shot of whiskey. He belts that down, walks to the end of the bar and POW!, knocks the big dude out. He orders another double, belts it down, walks to the door, steps inside and closes the door. BAM, CRASH, GROWL is all the bartender and patrons can hear for more...
A man comes to an Italian doctor because of sore throat. The doctor tells him to pull down his pants and to swing his genitals in the window.
"What does this have to do with my throat?"
"Nothing, I just hate the neighbors!"
What do you call a pony with a sore throat? A hoarse horse!
A man comes to an Italian doctor because of sore throat. The doctor tells him to pull down his pants and to swing his genitals in the window."What does this have to do with my throat?""Nothing, I just hate the neighbors!"
A Story to tell your children……..
Once upon a time, in the Valley of Silicon, the two-headed Wizard of Apples went for a walk. The two heads, both of which were named Steve, looked around, and spied a beautiful PARC.
“This is truly a beautiful PARC! ” Steve exclaimed.
“Yes, it is, ” agreed Steve. “It is very graphical. And do you see how happy the mice are? ” For indeed, the joyful rodents scampered about, running in and out of windows, around icons, and leaping over the garbage cans.
“Do you think we could make a PARC as beautiful as this? ” Steve asked.
“Nay, ” said Steve. “Not a PARC, but perhaps we can let this inspire us to build a woman. And we could call her… Gertrude. ”
And so they fashioned their woman, but instead of Gertrude, they called her Lisa. And she, too, was nice to mice. But alas, the User rejected Lisa, for it was said her price was too high.
“But this will never do, ” the User cried. “Do you more...
A guy enters a bar and sees a large jar with $10 bills in it. "What's with the jar of money?" he asks the bartender.
"We're having a contest," explains the bartender. "First you put $10 in the jar, then you have three tasks to complete. If you complete all three, you get the money that's in the jar."
"What the hell," the guy says, "I'll give it a try." He puts his money in the jar and asks what the tasks are.
"First," the bartender says, "you have to drink 10 shots of Tequila in a row without making a face. Second, my Doberman is out back and he has a sore tooth. You have to pull out his tooth, but I must warn you, he can be quite ferocious. Third, there's an old woman upstairs who's never had sex. You must have sex with her.
The guy agrees, so the bartender lines up the Tequila shots and he drinks them all down without making a face. Now quite drunk, he staggers out back and the bartender hears a lot of more...
A blonde is suffering from a sore throat so she goes to see the doctor. She explains the problem to the doctor who asks her to sit down. He gets out his light and says "Open wide." "I can't" replies the blonde, "the chair's fitted with arms."