Sore Jokes / Recent Jokes

A patient has a sore throat and goes to a doctor to get treatment for it. Doctor: Your tonsils gotta come out. Patient: I wanna second opinion. Doctor: Okay, you're ugly, too.

A blonde is suffering from a sore throat so she goes to see the doctor. She explains the problem to the doctor who asks her to sit down. He gets out his light and says "Open wide." "I cant" replies the blonde, "the chairs fitted with arms."

The following is a partial list of actual written excuses given to teachers in the Alburquerque Public School System by parents of students:
1. Dear School: Please excuse John from being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
2. Please excuse Dianne from being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
3. Please excuse Johnnie for being. It was his father's fault.
4. Chris will not be in school because he has an acre in his side.
5. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken off his face.
6. Excuse Gloria. She has been under the doctor.
7. Lillie was absent from school yesterday because she had a going over.
8. My son is under the doctor's care and should not take fizical ed. Please execute him.
9. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hit in the growing part.
10. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent this weekend with the Marines.
11. Please excuse more...

Why was the blonde's navel sore? Because her boyfriend was blonde too.

A recent study showed a large percentage of teenage girls are suffering from carpel tunnel syndrome due to excessive texting. So now for the first time in history both teenage girls and boys are complaining of sore wrists.

Kobe Bryant is reportedly nursing a sore right groin. Hopefully not in Colorado.

This was during my college days. It was quite late at night and I was preparing to go to bed in my room. It was then that I realised that my sore throat had worsened. Infact I had almost lost my voice - it had become quite husky.
My classmate suggested that I go and see the doctor at home as the college medical centre would be closed at this hour.
I liked the idea and went down to the doctor's house. I rang the bell and the door was opened by his wife.
I asked, obviously in my husky voice, "Is the doctor home?".
To which the wife replied, and in a HUSKY voice "No... come in, come in..."