Socially Jokes

A socially prominent dowager from Boston was visiting friends in New York and a dinner party was held in her honor. She was seated next to another, younger woman, and began discussing the relative merits of Boston society.

"In Boston," she said, "we place all our emphasis on good breeding."

"In New York we think it's a lot of fun, too," agreed the other woman, "but we also manage to foster other interests."

OUTGOING PERSONALITY.................. Always going out of the office
GREAT PRESENTATION SKILLS............. Able to bullshit
GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS............. Spends lots of time on phone
AVERAGE EMPLOYEE...................... Not too bright
EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED.......... Made no major blunders yet
WORK IS FIRST PRIORITY................ Too ugly to get a date
ACTIVE SOCIALLY....................... Drinks a lot
FAMILY IS ACTIVE SOCIALLY............. Spouse drinks, too
INDEPENDENT WORKER.................... Nobody knows what he/she does
QUICK THINKING........................ Offers plausible excuses
CAREFUL THINKER....................... Won't make a decision
AGGRESSIVE............................ Obnoxious
USES LOGIC ON DIFFICULT JOBS.......... Gets someone else to do it
EXPRESSES THEMSELVES WELL............. Speaks English
METICULOUS ATTENTION TO DETAIL........ A nit picker
HAS LEADERSHIP more...

GREAT PRESENTATION SKILLS........... Able to bullshit
GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS........... Spends lots of time on phone
AVERAGE EMPLOYEE.................... Not too bright
EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED........ Made no major blunders yet
WORK IS FIRST PRIORITY.............. Too ugly to get a date
ACTIVE SOCIALLY..................... Drinks a lot
FAMILY IS ACTIVE SOCIALLY........... Spouse drinks, too
INDEPENDENT WORKER.................. Nobody knows what he/she does
QUICK THINKING...................... Offers plausible excuses
CAREFUL THINKER..................... Won't make a decision
AGGRESSIVE.......................... Obnoxious
USES LOGIC ON DIFFICULT JOBS........ Gets someone else to do it
EXPRESSES THEMSELVES WELL........... Speaks English
METICULOUS ATTENTION TO DETAIL...... A nit picker
HAS LEADERSHIP QUALITIES............ Is tall or has a loud voice
EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD JUDGEMENT........ Lucky
KEEN more...

Good Communication Skills - Spends lots of time on phone

Average Employee - Not too bright

Exceptionally Well Qualified - Made no major blunders yet

Work Is First Priority - Too ugly to get a date

Active Socially - Drinks a lot

Family Is Active Socially - Spouse drinks, too

Independent Worker - Nobody knows what he/she does

Quick Thinking - Offers plausible excuses

Careful Thinker - Won't make a decision

Aggressive - Obnoxious

Uses Logic On Difficult Jobs - Gets someone else to do it

Expresses Themselves Well - Speaks English

Meticulous Attention To Detail - A nit picker

Has Leadership Qualities - Is tall or has a loud voice

Exceptionally Good Judgment - Lucky

Keen Sense Of Humor - Knows a lot of dirty jokes.

Career Minded - Back Stabber

Loyal - Can't get a job anywhere else