Singers Jokes / Recent Jokes
The principal singer of nineteenth-century opera was called pre-Madonna.It is easy to teach anyone to play the maracas. Just grip the neck and shake him in rhythm.Gregorian chant has no music, just singers singing the same lines.Sherbet composed the Unfinished Symphony.At one time singers had to use musicians to accompany them. Since synthesizers came along, singers can now play themselves.All female parts were sung by castrati. We don't know exactly what they sounded like because there are no known descendants.Young scholars have expressed their rapture for the Bronze Lullaby, the Taco Bell Cannon, Beethoven's Erotica, Tchaikovsky Cracknutter Suite, and Gershwin's Rap City in Blue.Music sung by two people at the same time is called a duel; if they sing without music it is called Acapulco.A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals.Contralto is a low sort of music that only ladies sing.Diatonic is a low calorie Schweppes.Probably the most marvellous fugue was the one between the more...
How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to change the bulb and two to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
How many country & western singers does it take to change a light bulb?
Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love she is with the new one, and one to go "Yeeeee-Hah! " and throw his hat in the air.
How many lead singers does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but she just stands there holding up the bulb and expects the whole world to revolve around her.
Q: How many lead singers does it take to change a light bulb?
A1: One. He holds the bulb while the world revolves around him.
A2: None. Get the drummer to do it.
Q: How do you tell when your lead singer is at the door? A: He can't find the key and doesn't know when to come in.Q: What is the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and an All-Pro offensive lineman? A: Stage makeup.Q: How many lead singers does it take to change a light bulb? A: One. He holds the bulb while the world revolves around him.Q: What is the difference between a soprano and a Porsche? A: Most musicians have never been inside a Porsche.Q: Did you hear about the female opera singer who had quite a range at the lower end of the scale.A: She was known as the deep C diva.Q: What is the missing link between the bass and the ape? A: The baritone.Q: What is the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and a Wagnerian Tenor? A: About 10 pounds.Q: How can you tell when a tenor is really stupid? A: When the other tenors notice.Ever hear the one about the tenor who was so off-key that even the other tenors could tell? Q: How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb? A: Six. One more...
"Probably the most marvelous fugue was the one between the Hatfields and the McCoys"
"Diatonic is a low-calorie Schwepps."
"Agitato is your state of mind when your hand slips in the middle of a piece."
"Johann Sebastian Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large - number of children. In between, he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in the attic."
"Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. "
"Do you know that if Beethoven were alive today, he would be celebrating the 165th anniversary of his death?"
And of course these greatest hits - "Bronze Lullaby", the "Taco Bell Cannon", and Gershwin's "Rap City in Blue." And Tchaikovsky's "Cracknutter Suite," of course.
Stradivarius sold his violins on the open market with no strings attached.
The principle singer of 19th century opera was called more...