Shoulders Jokes / Recent Jokes

While crossing the US-Mexican border on his bicycle, the man was stopped by a guard who pointed to two sacks the man had on his shoulders. "What's in the bags?", asked the guard.

"Sand," said the cyclist.

"Get them off - we'll take a look," said the guard.

The Cyclist did as he was told, emptied the bags, and proving they contained nothing but sand, reloaded the bags, put them on his shoulders and continued across the border.

Two weeks later, the same thing happened. Again the guard demanded to see the two bags, which again contained nothing but sand. This went on every week for six months, until one day the cyclist with the sand bags failed to appear.

A few days later, the guard happened to meet the cyclist downtown. "Say friend, you sure had us crazy", said the guard. "We knew you were smuggling something across the border. I won't say a word - but what is it you were smuggling?" more...

When the Ark’s door was closed, Noah called a meeting with all the animals. “Listen up! ” Noah said with a demanding voice. “There will be NO SEX on this trip! All of you males take off your penis and hand it in to my sons. I will sit over there and write you a receipt. After we see land, you can get your penis back. ”
After about a week Mr. Rabbit stormed into his wife’s cage and was very excited. “Quick! ” he said, “Get on my shoulders and look out the window to see if there is any land out there! ”
Mrs. Rabbit got onto his shoulders, looked out the window, and said, “Sorry, no land yet. ”
“Darn it! ”, exclaimed Mr. Rabbit.
This went on every day until Mrs. Rabbit got fed up with him. Mrs. Rabbit asked, “What is the matter with you? You know it will rain for forty days and nights. Only after the water has drained will we be able to see land. But why are you acting so excited every day? ”
“LOOK! ”, said Mr. Rabbit with a more...

When the ark's door was closed Noah called a meeting with all the animals.
"Listen up!" Noah said with a demanding voice. "There will be NO sex on this trip. All of you males take off your penis and hand it in to my sons.
I will sit over there and write you a receipt. After we see land, you can get your penis back."
After about a week Mr. Rabbit stormed into his wife's cage and was very excited. "Quick!" he said, "Get on my shoulders and look out the window to see if there is any land out there!" Mrs. Rabbit got onto his shoulders, looked out the window, and said, "Sorry, no land yet." "Damn!", exclaimed Mr. Rabbit.
This went on every day until Mrs. Rabbit got fed up with him. Mrs. Rabbit asked, "What is the matter with you? You know it will rain for forty days and nights. Only after the water has drained will we be able to see land. But why are you acting so excited every more...

When the Ark's door was closed, Noah called a meeting with all the animals. "Listen up!" Noah said with a demanding voice. "There will be NO SEX on this trip! All of you males take off your penis and hand it in to my sons. I will sit over there and write you a receipt. After we see land, you can get your penis back."
After about a week Mr. Rabbit stormed into his wife's cage and was very excited. "Quick!" he said, "Get on my shoulders and look out the window to see if there is any land out there!"
Mrs. Rabbit got onto his shoulders, looked out the window, and said, "Sorry, no land yet." "Darn it!", exclaimed Mr. Rabbit.
This went on every day until Mrs. Rabbit got fed up with him. Mrs. Rabbit asked, "What is the matter with you? You know it will rain for forty days and nights. Only after the water has drained will we be able to see land. But why are you acting so excited every more...

When the Ark's door was closed, Noah called a meeting with all the animals. "Listen up!" Noah said with a demanding voice. "There will be NO SEX on this trip! All of you males take off your penis and hand it in to my sons. I will sit over there and write you a receipt. After we see land, you can get your penis back."
After about a week Mr. Rabbit stormed into his wife's cage and was very excited. "Quick!" he said, "Get on my shoulders and look out the window to see if there is any land out there!"
Mrs. Rabbit got onto his shoulders, looked out the window, and said, "Sorry, no land yet."
"Darn it!", exclaimed Mr. Rabbit.
This went on every day until Mrs. Rabbit got fed up with him. Mrs. Rabbit asked, "What is the matter with you? You know it will rain for forty days and nights. Only after the water has drained will we be able to see land. But why are you acting so excited every more...

When the Ark's door was closed, Noah called a meeting with all the animals. "Listen up!" Noah said with a demanding voice. "There will be NO SEX on this trip! All of you males take off your penis and hand it in to my sons. I will sit over there and write you a receipt. After we see land, you can get your penis back."After about a week Mr. Rabbit stormed into his wife's cage and was very excited. "Quick!" he said, "Get on my shoulders and look out the window to see if there is any land out there!"Mrs. Rabbit got onto his shoulders, looked out the window, and said, "Sorry, no land yet." "Darn it!", exclaimed Mr. Rabbit.This went on every day until Mrs. Rabbit got fed up with him. Mrs. Rabbit asked, "What is the matter with you? You know it will rain for forty days and nights. Only after the water has drained will we be able to see land. But why are you acting so excited every day?""LOOK!", said Mr. Rabbit more...

Frank went to the Godfather one day and asked if job could be found for his nephew who was due to
arrive next week and stay with him until he gets settled.
"No problem," said the Godfather in his deep voice and then continued, "You are a good man to watch
for your relatives. Family is very important"
"Godfather, you should know ahead of time that the boy is deaf and dumb, though. But, he is very
smart," said Frank.
"That's okay," said the Godfather, "We'll give him a job as a bagman and he won't need to talk. You
are a good man Frank."
The boy had been working for about six months picking up numbers game receipts when the Godfather
called Frank into his office. Obviously very angry, he said, "That little scumbag nephew of yours has
been skimming from the collections. I figure he's stolen about $500, 000 by now and I want it back,
right now!"
Frank found his nephew more...