Shoulders Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He's got two large bags over his shoulders.
    The guard stops him and says, "What's in the bags?""Sand," answered Juan.The guard says, "We'll just see about that get off the bike." The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand.
    He detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags.The guard releases Juan, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the man's shoulders, and lets him cross the border.A week later, the same thing happens. The guard asks, "What have you got?""Sand," says Juan.The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand.He gives the sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the border on his bicycle.This sequence of events if repeated every day for three years. Finally, Juan doesn't show up one day and the more...

    One day a blonde walked into a bar.Everyone had to buy spikes to enter.The blonde paid for the spikes.She put it on her shoulders.
    A man walked up and asked her,"How do you turn on a computer? Then she put her shoulders to her neck.

    A tall blonde and a tall brunette are stading in an elevator. A short bald man with lots of dandruff walks in, then gets off at the next floor. The brunette says, "Boy he could use some head and shoulders." The blonde says, "Hm. How do you give shoulders?" Blonde
    Cowboy "A tall weather-worn cowboy walked into the saloon and ordered a beer. The regulars quietly observed the drifter through half-closed eyelids. No one spoke, but they all noticed that the stranger's hat was made of brown wrapping paper.
    Less obvious was the fact that his shirt and vest were also made of paper. As were his chaps, pants, and even his boots, including the paper spurs. Truth be told, even the saddle, blanket and bridle on his horse were made entirely of paper.
    Of course he was soon arrested for rustling.

    While crossing the US-Mexican border on his bicycle, the man was stopped by a guard who pointed to two sacks the man had on his shoulders. "What's in the bags?", asked the guard.
    "Sand," said the cyclist.
    "Get them off - we'll take a look," said the guard.
    The Cyclist did as he was told, emptied the bags, and proving they contained nothing but sand, reloaded the bags, put them on his shoulders and continued across the border.
    Two weeks later, the same thing happened. Again the guard demanded to see the two bags, which again contained nothing but sand. This went on every week for six months, until one day the cyclist with the sand bags failed to appear.
    A few days later, the guard happened to meet the cyclist downtown. "Say friend, you sure had us crazy", said the guard. "We knew you were smuggling something across the border. I won't say a word - but what is it you were smuggling?" "Bicycles!"

    When the Ark’s door was closed, Noah called a meeting with all the animals. “Listen up! ” Noah said with a demanding voice. “There will be NO SEX on this trip! All of you males take off your penis and hand it in to my sons. I will sit over there and write you a receipt. After we see land, you can get your penis back. ”
    After about a week Mr. Rabbit stormed into his wife’s cage and was very excited. “Quick! ” he said, “Get on my shoulders and look out the window to see if there is any land out there! ”
    Mrs. Rabbit got onto his shoulders, looked out the window, and said, “Sorry, no land yet. ”
    “Darn it! ”, exclaimed Mr. Rabbit.
    This went on every day until Mrs. Rabbit got fed up with him. Mrs. Rabbit asked, “What is the matter with you? You know it will rain for forty days and nights. Only after the water has drained will we be able to see land. But why are you acting so excited every day? ”
    “LOOK! ”, said Mr. Rabbit with a more...

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