Sheath Jokes

A population control program had been introduced to the island, but the doctors were having trouble getting the women to take their birth control pills. They decided, therefore, to concentrate on teaching the men to wear condoms.

One of the men who came in had had eight children in eight years, and the doctor told him that he absolutely had to wear a sheath. He explained that as long as he wore it his woman could not have another baby. About a month later, the wife came in and she was pregnant. The doctor got very angry. He called the man in and gave him a long lecture through an interpreter. He asked the man why he hadn't worn the sheath.

The interpreter said, "He swears he did wear it. He never took it off."

The doctor shook his head. "In that case, ask him how in the heck his wife is pregnant again?"

"He says," said the interpreter, "that after six days he had to pee so badly that he cut the end more...

"Merlin, Inc. technical support. How can I help you?"
"Yesterday I've bought your sword..."
"Congratulations, sir, you've made the right choice!"
"It doesn't work."
"What does it mean - doesn't work?"
"It doesn't cut the dragon's head."
"Have you read the manual, sir?"
"A noble knight have not to know how to read! But my armour-bearer has read it for me aloud twice."
"Well, sir. Have you taken the sword out of the sheath?"
"Yes."
"Is that really so? Check it again, please."
"I've done it, I say to you!"
Okay, sir. Now check the edge sharpness."
"Ough!"
"You shouldn't do it with your finger, sir."
"What thinger? I've done it with my phongue! I always check a sharp flavour of my dishes like that."
"You see, sir, a sword has a bit different construction than your more...