Shaving Jokes / Recent Jokes

it was the day before thanksgiving and the dad was upstairs shaving and he cut himself and said shit and the little boy said what does that mean and the father said its another word for shaving the mom and the dad had an argument the mom said you bitch you bastered and the boy said what does that mean and they said its another word for ladies and jentlemen so the mom was downstairs cleaning the turkey and she cut herself and said fuck the boy said what does that mean its another word for cleaning the turkey and the doorbell rang the little boy said to the guest hello bitches and bastereds my dad is upstairs shaving the shit off his face and moms in the kitchen fucking the turkey.

A man and his son were driving in the car, when a police pulled them over for speeding. "
Oh Shit!"
exclaimed the father.
"
What does shit mean daddy?"
Asked the little boy innocently.
"
It's...ummm, it's just what you sometimes call a police man."
When they got home, the father slipped on the doormat, "
Oh Piss!"
exclaimed the father.
"
What does piss mean daddy?"
Asked the boy innocently.
"
It's what you sometimes call, a doormat."
The father made his way to the boot rack and tripped over a chair exlaiming; "
Oh Shag!"
As he landed on it.
"
What does shag mean daddy?"
asked the little boy innocently.
"
It's another way of saying... Sit on."
The man went upstairs and was shaving his face,, when he cut himself. "
Of Bollocks!"
Exclaimed the man.
The little boy popped more...

There once was a boy, whose parents was a cursed a lot.
One time, while he was on a drive with his dad, a policeman pulled him over and gave him a ticket. "Bastard!" the father muttered afterwards.
The boy asked, "What does 'bastard' mean?"
The dad told him nervously, "It's a slang word for 'police officer'."
Another time, the dad was walking out of the house. On his way out, he tripped over the doormat and yelled, "Shit!"
The boy heard and asked, "Dad, what does 'shit' mean?"
The dad said to him, "It means 'doormat'."
Later, the boy went into the kitchen and his mum was cooking eggs. She dropped one and yelled angrily, "Tit!"
The boy asked her, "What does 'tit' mean?"
The mum told him, "It's another word for 'eggs'".
The dad came back home later and went upstairs. The boy followed him up. The dad went into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Seconds more...

A boy goes into the kitchen on Thanksgiving where his mom is cutting a turkey, she cuts herself and says fuck! The boy sayes whats fuck. She says its a nother word for cutting the turkey.He says OK and goes upstairs where his dad is shaving. The dad cuts himself and says shit. The boy says whats shit. The dad says its a type of shaving cream. He says OK and leavs and goes in the living room where his brother is playing video games. He messes up and says bitch, basterd. the boy says whats bitch and basterd and his brother sayes its a name for your aunt and uncle. Just then the doorbell rings and the boy answers it and its his aunt and uncle. He says hi bitch, hi basters. The aunt says where are your parents and the boy sayes dads upstairs shaving with shit and mom is in the kitchen fucking the turkey.

One day before Thanksgiving, a little boy walked in on his mom and dad arguing, his mom called his dad a Bastard, and his dad called his mom a bitch. He asked what the two meant, and his mom told him ladies & Gentlemen. Later he walked in on his parents making love, and his mom said to his dad oh your dik is so big, and his dad said oh your titis are so big. The boy asked what that meant, and his mom told him Coats and hats.
So on thanksgiving his mom was carving the turkey, and she cut herself and said fuck. He asked what that meant, and she said carving. His dad was shaving, and cut himself, he said shit. tHe boy asked what that meant and his dad said shaving.
2 min. Later the family came. The boy answered the door, and said to everyoneone
" Hello Bitches and Bastards, Put your diks and titis in the closet, my mom is fucking the turkey, and my dad is shitting on his face".

A cute girl was giving a manicure to a man in the barber shop.
The man said, "How about a date later?"
She said, "I'm married."
"So call up your husband and tell him you're going to visit a girlfriend."
She said, "You tell him yourself - he's shaving you."

A little boy was sitting on the couch while his parents were arguing.
"I don't want your bastard family coming over for Thanksgiving." said his mom.
"Mom, what's a bastard?" asked the little boy.
"Oh, that is just your dad's family." she replied.
"Well I don't want those bitches you call family to come either!" his dad said
"Dad, what, s a bitch?"
"Oh, it is just your moms family."he said
Later the little boy went and took a shower with his mom. He looked up and said, "Mom what are those?" His mom was surprised she didn't know what to say so she said, "Oh, they are tits. something grown ups wear under there clothes."The boy seemed satisfied and got out.
He then took a shower with his dad. When he looked up he asked, "Dad what's that?" Flustered his dad said, "Oh, that is a dick. It is something adults wear."
"Ohhh okay." the little boy more...