Crying Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    There's this little guy sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink. He sits motionless, staring
    like that for half-an-hour.
    Then, this big guy breezes into the bar, steps next to him, reaches over, takes the drink from this
    poor guy, and just drinks it all down. At that, the poor man starts crying.
    The big guy, embarrassed, says: "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I
    just can't stand to see a man crying."
    "No, it's not that," replies the little guy. "It's just that today is the worst day of my life!"
    " First, I overslept and was late to an important meeting. My boss, who has a furious temper, fired
    me! Then, when I left the building, I found out that my car had been stolen! The police filled out
    some forms, but said they could do nothing."
    "So next I got a cab to return home, and after I paid the cab driver and the cab had gone, I found
    that I left my more...

    One day 3 guys are in an airplane, An American, a Spaniard, and an Egyptian. Suddenly the plane gets to heavy while its over Egypt.
    So the Egyptian throws a model of the Pyramids overboard. When he gets down he finds the boy crying.
    Why are you crying little boy? He asks.
    Im crying cause a pyramid fell on my head.
    The plane gets back in the air and it is still too heavy. So the Spaniard throws a toy bull off the plane. He gets down and finds a boy crying.
    Why are you crying little boy? He asks.
    Im crying cause a toy bull fell on my head.
    The plane goes back into the air and its still too heavy. The American then throws a pipe bomb out the overboard. He gets down and finds the boy laughing his guts out.
    Why the hell are you laughing so hard?
    Im laughing cuz when I farted the building behind me went boooooooooom!

    This just breaks my heart... please pass it on so
    more can help this unfortunate child...

    > Dear Friend:
    > I am a very sick boy little boy. My mother is typing
    > this for me, because I can't. She is crying.
    > Don't cry, Mommy! Mommy is always sad, but she says
    > it's not my fault. I asked her if it was God's fault,
    > but she didn't answer, and only started crying harder,
    > so I don't ask her that anymore.
    > The reason she is so sad is that I'm so sick. I was
    > born without a body. It doesn't hurt, except when I go
    > to sleep.
    > The doctors gave me an artificial body. My body is a
    > burlap bag filled with leaves. The doctors said that
    > was the best they could do on account of us having no
    > money or insurance. I would like to have a body
    > transplant, but we need more money.
    > Mommy doesn't work because she said employers don't
    > hire crying people. I said, "Don't cry, Mommy," and more...

    A priest, a carpenter, and an army man all go up in a plane. The priest says lets all throw something out the window. So the priest starts by throwing a bible out the window. Then the carpenter throws a hammer out the window. Then the army man decides to throw a gernade out the window.
    After they throw everything out window the priest goes down to see what happened. He goes up to a kid that is crying and asks him what happened. He says a bible fell down and hit him. Then the priest goes up to another kid thats crying and he asks what happend. The kid says a bible hit him. Then the priest goes up to an old man sitting in a lawn chair laughing and asks what happened.
    The grandpa says I just farted and the building behind me blew up!

    A little boy runs into the kitchen, crying.
    His mother asks, "Johnny, why are you crying?"
    Johnny cries, "Because daddy hit his thumb with
    the hammer!"
    His mother says, "You shouldn't cry because
    of that. You should *laugh*!"
    Johnny breaks out in tears anew and says,
    "But I *did*!"

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