"Heartbreaking letter from the Internet" joke

This just breaks my heart... please pass it on so
more can help this unfortunate child...

> Dear Friend:
> I am a very sick boy little boy. My mother is typing
> this for me, because I can't. She is crying.
> Don't cry, Mommy! Mommy is always sad, but she says
> it's not my fault. I asked her if it was God's fault,
> but she didn't answer, and only started crying harder,
> so I don't ask her that anymore.
> The reason she is so sad is that I'm so sick. I was
> born without a body. It doesn't hurt, except when I go
> to sleep.
> The doctors gave me an artificial body. My body is a
> burlap bag filled with leaves. The doctors said that
> was the best they could do on account of us having no
> money or insurance. I would like to have a body
> transplant, but we need more money.
> Mommy doesn't work because she said employers don't
> hire crying people. I said, "Don't cry, Mommy," and she
> hugged my burlap body. Mommy always gives me hugs, even
> though she's allergic to burlap, and it chafes her real
> bad.
> I hope you will help me. You can help me if you
> forward this e-mail. Dr. Johansen said if you forward
> this e-mail then Bill Gates will team up with AOL and
> do a survey with NASA. Then the astronauts will collect
> prayers from school children all over America and take
> them up to space so that the angel can hear them
> better. Then they will go to the Pope, and he will take
> up a collection in church and send the money to the
> doctors. The doctors could help me better then.
> Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Or
> maybe just use my lungs and heart, when the doctors
> make them. The doctors said that every time you forward
> this letter, the astronauts can take another prayer to
> the angels. Please help me. Mommy is so sad, and I want
> a body. I don't want my leaves to rot before I turn 10.
> If you don't forward this e-mail, that's OK. Mommy
> says you're a mean heartless shithead who doesn't care
> about a poor little boy with only a head.
> She says that if you don't stew in the raw pit of
> your own guilt-ridden stomach, she hopes you die a long
> slow horrible death so you can burn forever in hell.
> What kind of goddamned person are you that you can't
> take five minutes to forward this to all your friends so
> that they can feel guilt and shame for the rest of
> their day, and then maybe help a poor, bodiless
> nine-year-old boy?
> Please help me. This really sucks. I try to be happy
> but it's hard. I wish I had a puppy. I wish I could
> hold a puppy.
> Thank You.
> Billy' Smiles' Evans,
> The boy with just a head.
> And a burlap sack for a body.

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A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!


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