Sam Jokes / Recent Jokes
Sam's girlfriend's birthday was the same day as his father's. He bought his girlfriend a bottle of perfume and his father a pistol. He wrapped the perfume and wrote a note to his girlfriend, saying,' Use this all over yourself and think of me.' Unfortunately he put the note on his father's present.
Two elderly gentlemen, Sam and Harry, were having breakfast. Sam said to Harry, "Harry, why do you have a suppository in your ear?" Harry took the suppository out, looked it over and said, "Sam, I'm really glad you saw this thing, now I think I know where my hearing aid is."
It was coming up to Christmas and Sammy asked his mum if he could have a new bike. So, she told him that the best idea would be to write to Santa Claus. But Sam, having just played a vital role in the school nativity play, said he would prefer to write to the baby Jesus. So his mum told him that would be fine.
Sam went to his room and wrote' Dear Jesus, I have been a very good boy and would like to have a bike for Christmas.' But he wasn't very happy when he read it over. So he decided to try again and this time he wrote' Dear Jesus, I'm a good boy most of the time and would like a bike for Christmas.' He read it back and wasn't happy with that one either. He tried a third version.' Dear Jesus, I could be a good boy if I tried hard and especially if I had a new bike.' He read that one too, but he still wasn't satisfied.
So, he decided to go out for a walk while he thought about a better approach. After a short time he passed a house with a small statue of the Virgin Mary in more...
Teacher -
Sam, what do you call a person working in a library?
Sam -
A librarian.
Teacher -
Very good.. now, tell me what do you call a person who works in a barber saloon?
Sam -
A BARBARIAN! !!!
Teacher: "Sam, what is the outside of a tree called?"
Sam: "I don''t know."
Teacher: "Bark, Sam, bark."
Sam: "Bow, wow, wow!"
Teacher: "Sam, what is the outside of a tree called?"Sam: "I dont know."Teacher: "Bark, Sam, bark."Sam: "Bow, wow, wow!"
BOY: Since we met, I can't eat or drink...
GIRL: Why not? ?
BOY: I'm broke.
BOY: May I hold your hand??
GIRL: No thanks, it isn't heavy.
GIRL: Who was that girl I saw you kissing last night??
BOY: What time was it??
GIRL: Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY: You love me...
GIRL: If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY: Sure, what's your phone number??
GIRL: Darling, I want to dance like this forever..
BOY: Don't you ever want to improve??
BOY: I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL: How soon??
SHARON: Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY: I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.
Man: You remind me of the sea.
Woman: Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
Man: NO, because you make me sick.
Wife: You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out
of the more...