Riddle Jokes / Recent Jokes
: Whitewater is over when the First Lady sings.
If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.
Keep honking while I reload.
Sure you can trust the government! Just ask an Indian!
Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.
If we are what we eat; I'm cheap, fast, and easy.
Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!
So... who lit the fuse on your tampon?
Support cannibalism -- EAT ME!
I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit.
I wasn't born a bitch. Men like you made me this way.
Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either!
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
5 days a week my body is a temple. The other two, it's an amusement park.
EARTH FIRST! We'll strip-mine the other planets later.
Your child may be an honor student but you're still an idiot.
If you more...
Doctor, doctor everyone thinks I'm a liar."
Come now. I don't believe that."
Doctor, doctor People keep disagreeing with me
No they don't.
Doctor, doctor People keep ignoring me
Next please.
Doctor, doctor I think I'm a pair of curtains
Pull yourself together.
Doctor, doctor I think I'm a cricket ball
Hows that.
Doctor doctor I think I'm a billiard ball
Get to the end of the queue.
Doctor doctor I cant feel my legs
That's because we've cut your arms off.
Doctor doctor I think I need glasses
This is the post office.
Doctor doctor I think everyone hates me
Fuck off you irritating git.
A few choice 1-Liners.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
I intend to live forever - so far, so good
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met
I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy
If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough!
Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb!
Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 more...
Q: Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail when she was hammering?
A: The noise gave her a headache.
Why aren't chick's farts nearly as loud as men's?
Because they don't stop talking long enough to build up any back pressure.
How is a woman like a cop car?
They both make lots of noise to let you know they are coming.
What did Adam say when he woke up and found that a rib was missing?
Whew, something smells fishy around here.
Why do women get P.M.S.?
Because mad cow disease was already taken.
Why did god put men on earth?
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.
A Haryana Jat who had been irritated by his failure to answer any of the riddles put to him by a clever bania said angrily:' All right, now you answer this riddle: What is hung on a wall, is red, drips and speaks?'
After a while the bania admitted he did not know the answer.
'It is a picture!', said the Jat triumphantly.
'A picture? It can be hung on a wall but it is not always red,' protested the bania.
'Then paint it red.'
A picture doesn't drip; its dry,' protested the bania again.
'Put fresh paint on it and it will drip.'' But whoever heard of a picture talk!'
'That's right!', replied the Jat,' I added that to make sure a cunning bania like you would not get the answer.'