"Doctor, Doctor!" joke

Doctor, doctor everyone thinks I'm a liar."
Come now. I don't believe that."

Doctor, doctor People keep disagreeing with me
No they don't.

Doctor, doctor People keep ignoring me
Next please.

Doctor, doctor I think I'm a pair of curtains
Pull yourself together.

Doctor, doctor I think I'm a cricket ball
Hows that.

Doctor doctor I think I'm a billiard ball
Get to the end of the queue.

Doctor doctor I cant feel my legs
That's because we've cut your arms off.

Doctor doctor I think I need glasses
This is the post office.

Doctor doctor I think everyone hates me
Fuck off you irritating git.

Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 lbs.

Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes

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A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...

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A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer and says to the bartender, "Hey, I got this great Polish Joke..." The barkeep glares at him and says in a warning tone of voice: "Before you go telling that joke you better know that I'm Polish, both bouncers are Polish and so more...

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A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...

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As Mr. Smith was on his death bed, he attempted to formulate a plan that would allow him to take at least some of his considerable wealth with him. He called for the three men he trusted most-his lawyer, his doctor, and his clergyman. He told them, "I'm going to give you more...

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