Resistance Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    (Your jokes are too funny. You will be assimilated. Your piece de resistance is useless.)
    Two Borg walk into a bar. One Borg says to the other, "Did you hear about that city that was burned down in Argentina?"
    The other Borg replies, "Yeah, just goes to show you; Resistencia is fusil."
    A Borg was walking down a country road when he saw a donkey in a field nearby. Climbing over the fence, he pulled out his hand weapon, prayed loudly, and disintegrated the creature.
    The farmer who lived there ran out the door. "What in the world was that?"
    "Why," said the Borg, "What else? Ass immolation."
    Best Bumpersticker on Borg ship: "Blonde Borgs have the same fun."
    Happy Borg: &>
    Sad Borg: &<
    Locutus: ;|
    Drunk or Stoned Borg: #)
    Borg on Acid: @)
    McBorg - Over Half a billion assimilated.
    Borger King - you will have it _our_ way. Special orders are irrevelant.
    FROM more...

    Resistance isn't futile, it's voltage divided by amperage.

    I am Clinton of Borg. You will not really be assimilated, exactly...
    I am Janet Reno of Borg. Resisters will be barbecued. Waco is irrelevant.
    I am Stephanopolous of Borg. It's not assimilation, it's diversity...
    I am Hillary of Borg. Prepare to be. .. uh, I don't recall.
    I am Madonna of Borg. Resistance turns me on.
    I am Kojak of Borg. Who loves to assimilate ya, baby.
    I am Ginsu of Borg. You WILL be ASSIMILATED, but wait! That's not all!
    I am Hamlet, of Borg! Prepare to be...or not to be...
    I am Oprah of Borg. So, why did you assimilate your husband?
    I am Lancelot of Borg. Resistance is feudal.
    I am Haskell of Borg. You resist well, Mrs. Cleaver.
    I am Lennon of Borg. Imagine there's no assimilation...
    I am Baez of Borg. What if we gave an assimilation and nobody came?
    I am Opie of Borg. Can I assimilate' em, Pa?
    I am Quayle of Borg. Speling is irelevante.
    I am Smorgas of Borg. You will be marinated.
    I am more...

    "Following the path of least resistance is what makes rivers and men crooked."

    Law of Cat Inertia A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse. Law of Cat Motion A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction. Law of Cat Magnetism All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric. Law of Cat Thermodynamics Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat. Law of Cat Stretching A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken. Law of Cat Sleeping All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved, and as comfortable as possible for the cat. Law of Cat Elongation A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top that has anything remotely interesting on it. Law of Cat Obstruction A cat must lay on more...

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