Rental Jokes / Recent Jokes

Netflix, the leading online movie rental company, is suing Blockbuster for patent infringement for their similar online rental system.
In their counter-suit, Blockbuster accused Netflix of stealing the patented Blockbuster in-store system of me going in to rent movies like Capote and Munich and settling for Madagascar and something with Ross from Friends.

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.A bird dropped a snake over a California power station, short-circuiting a line and causing a two-hour blackout.
A Creighton University (Nebraska) Law School senior, told she wouldn't graduate because of a failing grade on a final exam, sued her professor, claiming he flunked her because she is "politically incorrect."
Biloxi, Mississippi, jurors acquitted a woman of drug charges, then passed the hat to collect $55 to pay her bus fare home to Texas.
A man allegedly held up 18 New York businesses after casing the places while filling out job or rental applications. The spree ended after he accidentally signed his real name on one of the forms, police said.
Harlan County, Nebraska, Assessor Floyd Schippert was unopposed in the Democratic primary, and just to be sure, he entered - and won - the Republican primary more...

Understanding Your PaycheckGROSS PAY: $1222.02INCOME TAX OUTGO TAX STATE TAX INTERSTATE TAX COUNTY TAX 244.40 45.21 61.10 5.89 6.11CITY TAX RURAL TAX BACK TAX FRONT TAX SIDE TAX 12.22 4.44 1.11 1.16 1.61UP TAX DOWN TAX KNICKNACK TAX HACKENSAC TAX THUMBTAX 2.22 1.11 1.98 3.93 0.98CARPET TAX SNACK TAX SURTAX MA'AM TAX PARKING FEE 0.69 8.32 3.46 3.46 5.00NO PARKING FEE F.I.C.A. T.G.I.F. LIFE INS. HEALTH INS. 10.00 81.88 9.95 5.85 16.23DISABILITY INS. ABILITY INS. LIABILITY INS. DENTAL INS. MENTAL INS. 2.50 0.25 3.41 4.50 4.33FUNDAMENTAL INS COFFEE COFEE CUPS CALENDAR RENTAL FLOOR RENTAL 0.11 6.85 66.51 3.06 16.85CHAIR RENTAL DESK RENTAL UNION DUES UNION DON'TS CASH ADVANCES 4.32 4.32 5.85 3.77 0.69CASH RETREATS OVERTIME UNDERTIME EASTERN TIME CENTRAL TIME 121.35 1.26 54.83 9.00 8.00MOUNTAIN TIME PACIFIC TIME DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME TIME OUT 7.00 6.00 4.44 12.21OXYGEN WATER ELECTRICITY HEAT AIR CONDITIONING 10.02 16.54 38.23 51.42 46.83MISC169.24TAKE HOME PAY: $0000.02

SICKNESS AND RELATED LEAVE: We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
SURGERY: Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.
BEREAVEMENT LEAVE: This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, Relatives or coworkers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases, where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early, provided your share of the work is done enough.
YOUR OWN DEATH: This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice as it is your duty to train your own more...

Understanding Your PaycheckGROSS PAY: $1222. 02INCOME TAX OUTGO TAX STATE TAX INTERSTATE TAX COUNTY TAX 244. 40 45. 21 61. 10 5. 89 6. 11CITY TAX RURAL TAX BACK TAX FRONT TAX SIDE TAX 12. 22 4. 44 1. 11 1. 16 1. 61UP TAX DOWN TAX KNICKNACK TAX HACKENSAC TAX THUMBTAX 2. 22 1. 11 1. 98 3. 93 0. 98CARPET TAX SNACK TAX SURTAX MA'AM TAX PARKING FEE 0. 69 8. 32 3. 46 3. 46 5. 00NO PARKING FEE F. I. C. A. T. G. I. F. LIFE INS. HEALTH INS. 10. 00 81. 88 9. 95 5. 85 16. 23DISABILITY INS. ABILITY INS. LIABILITY INS. DENTAL INS. MENTAL INS. 2. 50 0. 25 3. 41 4. 50 4. 33FUNDAMENTAL INS COFFEE COFEE CUPS CALENDAR RENTAL FLOOR RENTAL 0. 11 6. 85 66. 51 3. 06 16. 85CHAIR RENTAL DESK RENTAL UNION DUES UNION DON'TS CASH ADVANCES 4. 32 4. 32 5. 85 3. 77 0. 69CASH RETREATS OVERTIME UNDERTIME EASTERN TIME CENTRAL TIME 121. 35 1. 26 54. 83 9. 00 8. 00MOUNTAIN TIME PACIFIC TIME DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME TIME OUT 7. 00 6. 00 4. 44 12. 21OXYGEN WATER ELECTRICITY HEAT AIR CONDITIONING 10. 02 16. 54 38. 23 51. 42 more...