Ransom Jokes / Recent Jokes

I sometimes feel so bad about things that I wonder if I am sane. I see so many people acting so stupidly in the world, that what they do makes no sense. Maybe I'm the only sane person and everyone else is crazy! It seems like the world has gotten both stupider and nastier over the years, or at least the U.S. has.
It is the asinine stupidity - and plain arrogance - of people that makes me sick. The District of Columbia is damn near so bankrupt it would be "30c short of a quarter." The Financial Control Board gave a timid order to Mayor-for-life Marion "Snort, Snort" Barry to cut 6,000 city employees.
Washington is so obscenely overstaffed that the number of people that should be cut from its payroll is more like 60,000! This isn't cutting the payroll, this is giving it a manicure! People are practically calling this near-nothing cutback a "meat axe" approach!
All the while the city goes deeper into red ink. I'm thinking, when the city does go more...

Q: How many members of the P.L.O. does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 45 - One to drive the car, four to shoot the president of Sylvania's bodyguards, three to kidnap the president of Sylvania, five to think up the ransom demands, ten to paste up the ransom note, eight to cut little eye-holes in the cloth sacks, one to drive a truck with 2000 kilos of dynamite into the American embassy, one to claim responsibility for the bombing, and twelve to commandeer a building with working lights.

A Gujarati bhai spent the night in his secretary's apartment. He woke up at three in the morning. "My God!" he shouted, "My wife is going to kill me!" Unsure of how he would explain it, he ran to the nearest pay phone and called his wife. "Muna ni ba ", he began, "Don't pay the ransom. I escaped!"

A Gujarati bhai spent the night in his secretary's apartment.
He woke up at three in the morning.
"My God!" he shouted, "My wife is going to kill me!"
Unsure of how he would explain it, he ran to the nearest pay phone and called his wife.
"Muna ni ba ", he began, "Don't pay the ransom. I escaped!"

A blonde waits outside a school when all the kids come out she grabs a child around the corner and writes a note saying 'Ive kidnapped your kid i will only give him back if you give me 3million dollars Ransom leave it under the tree in the park tomorrow signed A Blonde.She sticks the note on the child and sends him home.The next morning The kid was standing under the tree with 3million dollars and a note the note said. There is the money now please dont hurt my child How could you do this to a fellow blonde