Quotient Jokes

Are You a Guy?
Take This Scientific Quiz to Determine Your Guyness Quotient
Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you are the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated device that is capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently eliminating oppression and violence all over the entire Earth. You decide to:
Present it to the president of the United States.
Present it to the secretary general of the United Nations.
Take it apart.
As you grow older, what lost quality of your youthful life do you miss the most?
Innocence.
Idealism.
Cherry bombs.
When is it okay to kiss another male?
When you wish to display simple and pure affection without regard for narrow-minded social conventions.
When he is the pope. (Not on the lips.)
When he is your brother and more...

INTRODUCTION:

Hello, and welcome to the nerdity test. This test is designed to help you determine your nerdity quotient. In the past, someone may have watched you, or listened to something you said and then exclaimed, "You geek! What do you think you are doing?" Or maybe it`s just us. In any event, we here at the nerdity testing lab were prompted to ask "just what is a nerd?" In response, we came up with this test. By taking it, you will determine your current nerdity quotient (from 0% to 100%), with 100% roughly corresponding to a pile of sludge unable to communicate with anything human except through a device that is a miracle of modern medicine and engineering, and whose only connection to the outside world is through the computer internet system.

GRADING:

As this test is being distributed primarily in places of high concentrations of known nerds, and nerds in turn tend to have nerd friends, that someone who has never heard of or more...

It is felt that for maximum enjoyment, you should respond out loud with your answers. You should treat each "yes" that you say as a personal catharsis of what you are doing wrong (or right depending on your opinion of nerdity) and each "no" may then be disputed by your peers. In this way, errors due to lying or personal oversight are avoided and the test also has a therapeutic effect for the closet nerd. As an aside, information gleaned about others should be treated confidentially. Each of us has a dork-side that we don`t want others to know about.

Experiment shows that nerdity CAN be cured! With effort and personal sacrifice... The nerdity quotient is a cross between proclivity toward as well as actual current status in nerddom. Some questions are "have you ever..." while others are "do you now...". The former register the fact that you have a propensity toward nerdity, while the later acknowledge the fact that you are currently more...