Prescription Jokes / Recent Jokes
Santa`s father comes home from his doctor and, though usually quite active with his grand-children, seems to make every effort to avoid them this day.
Santa notices his dad avoiding the kids and asks him why this is so.
Immediately the old man whisks his medicine prescription out of his pocket and hands it to Santa.
His father said, "Read that label. That`s why!"
Santa takes the bottle and reads, "Take two pills a day. KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN."
A distraught patient telephoned her doctor's office.
"Doctor, it is true that I am to take the medication you prescribed for the rest of my life?" she asked.
"Yes, I'm afraid so," replied the doctor.
The woman remained silent for a few moments and then continued, "I'm wondering then, just how serious is my condition? This prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'!"
- What did a Geertzian anthropologist get when she visited a doctor?
- A thick prescription.
This is a true story which happened to me.
For a while, I worked as a cashier at a local drugstore.
Well, one afternoon, while I was working at the drug counter, a woman came in
and dropped off 3 prescriptions to be filled. Later, she came back, and wanted
to pick up the prescriptions (they were for her husband). Two of the
prescriptions were ready, with the third stapled to the bag. The pharmacist
had already told me about this one.
"Here you go, we were only able to fill two of the prescriptions,"
I said.
"Why can't you fill the other one?" she said.
"I'm sorry, we don't carry that one," I said.
"Well, can you order it?"
"No."
"Well where can I get it filled?"
"I'm afraid you will have to go to the hospital to get it filled."
"Why? What's it for?"
"A chest X-ray."
And some people wonder why patients never know what the h**l is more...
Santa`s father comes home from his doctor and, though usually quite active with his grand-children, seems to make every effort to avoid them this day. Santa notices his dad avoiding the kids and asks him why this is so. Immediately the old man whisks his medicine prescription out of his pocket and hands it to Santa. His father said, "Read that label. That`s why!" Santa takes the bottle and reads, "Take two pills a day. KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN."
My brother-in-law just recently became a dentist and was issued his
DEA number, which allowed him to get prescription pads. A friend of his,
also a new dentist, had the misfortune of losing one of his pads. After
reporting the pad missing, he received a call from a pharmacist, who
believed he had found someone using the missing pad. When asked what had
raised his suspicions, the pharmacist replied that someone had just tried
to get a prescription filled for "Mofine, 1 pound."
A lady walks into a drug store and tells the pharmacist she needs some cyanide. The pharmacist said, Why in the world do you need cyanide? The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband. The pharmacists eyes got big and he said, Lord, have mercy& I cant give you cyanide to kill your husband! Thats against the law! I ll lose my license, they ll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not, you can NOT have any cyanide! The lady reached into her purse, and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacists wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture again and replied, Well, now. You didnt tell me you had a prescription.