Potter Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    IT'S A WONDERFUL MACHINE
    The Sweetest Christmas Movie Frank Capra Never Made
    -- by David Pogue

    I guess I shouldn't have gone to a party where the eggnog was spiked, and maybe I shouldn't have watched the movie It's a Wonderful Life while leafing through MacWeek. But anyway, I had the weirdest dream last night -- like a bizarre black-and-white movie that went like this: Jimmy Stewart stars as Steve' Jobs' Bailey, who runs a beleaguered but beloved small-town computer company. For years, big monopolist Bill' Gates' Potter has been wielding his power and money to gain control of the town. And for years, Steve has fought for survival:' This town needs my measly, one-horse computer, if only to have something for people to use instead of Windows!'

    But now an angry mob is banging on Apple's front door, panicking.' The press says your company is doomed!' yells one man.' You killed the clones! We're going to Windows!' calls another.' We want out of our more...

    Alexander Potter was a sports fan whose face was always either buried in the sports pages or transfixed by the television screen. One night as he lay in bed next to his wife watching a football game, she got up, walked across the room and unplugged the television set. "Hey," Alex shouted, "what do you think you're doing?"
    "I am sick of sports, and I'm sick of TV," his wife replied. "You haven't touched me in months. We're going to talk about sex right now!" "Okay, Okay. So..." After a moment, he asked, "How often do you think Brett Favre gets laid?"

    A village potter used to make pots and planters. He would go to a near by town to sell his wares. He had a donkey on whose back he would load the pots etc.
    Diwali was fast approaching, so the potter decided to make some statues of Lord Ganesha and Goddess Lakshmi, to sell in town. He made some beautiful statues and painted them in bright colours. He then loaded them on to the back of his donkey and set off towards the city.
    On the way, he crossed many people. They would invariably fold their hands and bow to the statues of Ganesha and Lakshmi. By the time they reached the city, many people had bowed their heads before the deities.
    They reached the exhibition ground where the artisans could exhibit their things. Soon the potter was able to sell his statues for a good sum. He was pleased indeed!
    The potter took his donkey by the muzzle and set off on the road leading back to the village. Every time they would cross anyone, the donkey would stop and preen himself more...

    You Know You're Addicted to Harry Potter When...
    1.) You make a wand and try to use it.
    2.) You call your least favorite teacher Snape.
    3.) You call your favorite teacher Dumbledore.
    4.) You wear robes to school or work.
    5.) You make "floo powder", get in the fire, and try to go to your friends' house.
    6.) You have read all the books more than four times.
    7.) You've been bookstore at midnight to get the latest Harry Potter book before all your friends.
    8.) You've worn a Harry Potter costume in public.
    9.) You have a crush on one of the Harry Potter characters.
    10.) You've gotten at least one of your friends addicted to Harry Potter.
    11.) You actually caught the "Wand Order" mistake before you heard/read about it.
    12.) You are upset at the New York Times for creating a seperate childrens best seller list because of the Harry Potter books.
    13.) Using clues in the book, you have attempted to find the exact more...

    J.K. Rowling says that 2 characters will die in the final Harry Potter book. When asked who they were, she said, "Nobody you know, I'm adding two black characters."

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