Cafe Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A little guy sat in a cafe one day eating his lunch. Three Hells Angels walked into the cafe, looked around, and decided to have some fun with the little guy.
    They sat at his table. One of them took his coffee away from him and drank it down. The next one took his sandwich away and ate it down. The third Hells Angel took the little guy's pie and ate it down.
    Without saying a word, the little guy got up, went to the cash register, paid his bill, and left.
    One of the Hells Angels looked at the waitress, and said, "Did you see that? We took away his coffee, his sandwich, and his pie! And he didn't say a word! He sure ain't much of a man!"
    The waitress turned to them and said, "He ain't much of a truck driver, either. He just ran over three motorcycles in the parking lot!"

    A furniture dealer from Knoxville, Tennessee, decided that he wanted to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris, France to see what he could find. After arriving in Paris (this being his first trip to the French capitol), he met with some manufacturers and finally selected a line that he thought would sell well back home in Tennessee.
    To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine. As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the one other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house.
    Before long, a very beautiful young Parisian woman came to his table, asked him something in French (which he did not understand), and motioned toward the chair.
    He invited her to sit down. He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his language so, after a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture more...

    The man in the cafe asked the waiter,
    "What is this mouse doing in my alphabet soup?"
    The waiter looked for a minute and said,
    "Learning to read sir."

    Bunny and Bob, two frequent users of a chat room, discovered that they had a lot in common. Eventually, they abandoned the chat room for a more intimate correspondence. After months of virtual kinkiness, the two decided to meet each other face-to-face at a small cafe.

    Bunny arrived a little late. One customer, a short, frail man with an eye patch, sat at the back of the cafe.

    "Are you Bob?" asked Bunny.

    "Yes I am," said Bob.

    "Unbelievable!" Bunny exclaimed. "You told me that you were tall, dark and handsome."

    "How do you think I feel?" Bob asked, his face turning red. "You told me that you were skinny, blonde, and... female!"

    Hold mouse up to ear like a cell phone and yell "I can't hear you!!! You're going to have to speak louder!"Play Pac Man and state to person next to you, "These new games are incredible!"Practice 'spinning mouse mat on index finger' globe trotter routine.Put your monitor's contrast and brightness on full. With wide open eyes yell "It's going to implode!"Tell the cashier you wish to redeem your free 1000 hours and hand him a bag full of collected AOL promo CD's.Typing hard and loudly looking behind you yell, "STOP MAKING ME TYPE THIS - IT WILL ONLY MAKE THINGS WORSE!"Sit at the web terminal... without a chair.Wheel your leather executive chair into Internet cafe and up to the computer with the largest monitor. Sit down, turn to the person next to you handing them a stack of papers, "Get these photocopied right away, the president wants them by end of day."
    Casually look around the room for people in chat rooms, log into the same chat more...

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