Alexander Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    The average Englishman, in his home he calls his castle, puts on his national costume - A shabby Raincoat patented by Charles MacIntosh of Glasgow, Scotland. He drives a car fitted with tyres invented by John Boyd Dunlop of Dreghorn, Scotland. At the office he receives his mail with adhesive stamps which, although they bear the queen of England`s head, were invented by John Chambers of Dundee, Scotland. During the day he uses the telephone, Invented by Alexander Graham Bell of Edinburgh, Scotland. At home in the evening he watches his daughter ride her bicycle, invented by Kilpatrick MacMillan, A Blacksmith from Dumfries, Scotland. He watches the news on television which was invented by John Logie Baird of Helensburough Scotland and hears an item about the U.S. Navy founded by John Paul Jones of Kirkbean, Scotland. He has now been reminded too much of Scotland, and in desperation picks up the Bible, only to find that the first man mentioned in the good book is a Scot - King James VI - more...

    What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common? Their middle name.

    (The PBS "American Masters" series did a show on Mort Sahl, who had
    these anecdotes about Alexander Haig:)
    Haig offered Sahl a Cuban cigar, whereupon Sahl wondered how an
    anti-communist such as Haig could be supporting Cuba by smoking their
    cigars. Haig replied that he preferred to think of it as burning their
    crops to the ground.
    Sahl and Haig were discussing Henry Kissinger. Sahl mentioned that, of
    course, Kissinger could not be the US President since he was not born
    in the US. Haig said, no, that's a common misconception, Kissinger was
    born in the US. "How did he get that accent?" asked Sahl. Haig
    replied, "From never listening to anybody."

    What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common?
    Their middle name.

    Knock Knock
    Who's there!
    Alexander who?
    Alexander friend are coming over!

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