Dating Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    The story behind this joke:... There's this nutball who digs things out his back yard and sends the stuff he finds to the Smithsonian Institute, labeling them with scientific names, insisting that they are actual archeological finds. The really weird thing about these letters is that this guy really exists and does this in his spare time! Paleoanthropology DivisionSmithsonian Institute207 Pennsylvania AvenueWashington, DC 20078Dear Sir: Thank you for your latest submission to the Institute, labeled "211-D, layer seven, next to the clothesline post. Hominid skull." We have given this specimen a careful and detailed examination, and regret to inform you that we disagree with your theory that it represents "conclusive proof of the presence of Early Man in Charleston County two million years ago. "Rather, it appears that what you have found is the head of a Barbie doll, of the variety one of our staff, who has small children, believes to be the "Malibu more...

    Dating hints for gentlemen
    There are lots of ways to ruin a date. Here are a few things NOT to say on a date...
    I really don't like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired.

    100 Reasons It's Good to Be a Woman
    1. free drinks
    2. free dinners
    3. free lunches
    4. free movies (you get the point)
    5. you can hug your friend without wondering if she thinks you're gay
    6. you can cry without pretending there's something in your contact
    7. you know the truth about whether size matters
    8. Speeding ticket? What's that?
    9. you can hug your friend without wondering if YOU'RE gay
    10. you actually get extra points for sitting on your butt watching sports
    11. you don't have to try to laugh louder, deeper and harder than your buddies
    12. if you never have a son, it's okay
    13. if you do have a son, and he's a lousy athlete, it's still okay
    14. if YOU'RE a lousy athlete, you don't have to question your worth as a human being
    15. a new lipstick gives you a whole new lease on life
    16. in high school, you never had to walk down the hall with your binder strategically positioned
    17. if you have sex with someone more...

    How about making the evening a Dutch treat?" cooed the delectable blonde to her handsome escort. "You pay for dinner and drinks-and the rest of the evening will be on me."

    After only being married for six months, the unhappy wife made an
    appointment with a divorce lawyer. "We met through a computer dating
    service," she said between sobs. "For the life of me, I'll never
    understand what that machine saw in him."

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