Peeing Jokes / Recent Jokes
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up - put it down.
3. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
4. Sometimes we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
5. Get rid of your cat.
6. Sunday = Sports.
7. Anything you wear is fine - really.
8. Women wearing wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
9. You have too many shoes.
10. Crying is blackmail.
11. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
12. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
13. Yes, peeing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point-blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
14. 'Yes' and 'No' are perfectly acceptable answers.
15. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
16. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
17. Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
18. If you more...
Most of us understand that our self worth and feelings of achievement change as we go through life. While everyone has different aspirations, it appears we all have some common benchmarks for what success is. Really it all depends on your age. Consider the following:
At age 4, success is not peeing your pants At age 16, success is "gettin' a little" At age 25, success is graduation and a wedding
At age 35, success is about career and family
At age 55, success is about graduations and weddings At age 65, success is "gettin' a little" At age 80, success is not peeing your pants!
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat; if it's up, put it down.
3. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
4. Get rid of your cat.
5. Sunday = TV Sports.
6. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
7. You have too many shoes.
8. Crying is blackmail.
9. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
10. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
11. Peeing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
12. Simple "yes" and "no" are perfectly acceptable answers.
13. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
14. Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
15. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
16. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you more...
@ age 4…………Success is…………Not peeing in your pants @ age 12………. Success is…………Having friends @ age 16………. Success is…………Having a driver’s license @ age 20………. Success is…………Having sex @ age 35………. Success is…………Having money @ age 50………. Success is…………Having money @ age 60………. Success is…………Having sex @ age 70………. Success is…………Having a driver’s license @ age 75………. Success is…………Having friends @ age 80………. Success is…………Not peeing in your pants
There was this maniac who just escaped out of prison, he went home and he got his shotgun and he wanted to do a drive by. He was driving anlong and he saw a car he shot at the car, inside was a pregant ladie that was going to the hospital to have triplets. Well when she got to the hospital they couldnt fine anything. So she had her 3 boys. 13 years later the first boy ask her mom, mom why im I peeing out bullets, she said its a long story I tell you later. The second boy comes in and goes mom why am i peeing out bullets, long story tell you later. The thrid boy comes in and goes mom... Mom goes i know i know why are you peeing out bullets, no actully i was jacking off and i shot the dog.