Peeing Jokes

At age 4.... success is.... not peeing in your pants.
At age 12... success is.... having friends.
At age 17... success is.... having a drivers license.
At age 20... success is.... having sex.
At age 35... success is.... having money.
At age 50... success is.... having money.
At age 60... success is.... having sex.
At age 70... success is.... having a drivers license.
At age 75... success is.... having friends.
At age 80... success is.... not peeing in your pants

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat; if it's up, put it down.
3. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
4. Get rid of your cat.
5. Sunday = TV Sports.
6. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
7. You have too many shoes.
8. Crying is blackmail.
9. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
10. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
11. Peeing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
12. Simple "yes" and "no" are perfectly acceptable answers.
13. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
14. Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
15. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
16. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you more...

Most of us understand that our self worth and feelings of achievement change as we go through life. While everyone has different aspirations, it appears we all have some common benchmarks for what success is. Really it all depends on your age. Consider the following:
At age 4, success is not peeing your pants At age 16, success is "gettin' a little" At age 25, success is graduation and a wedding
At age 35, success is about career and family
At age 55, success is about graduations and weddings At age 65, success is "gettin' a little" At age 80, success is not peeing your pants!

Ok guys, own up... which one are you?

Excitable Type Pants are twisted, cannot find hole, rips pants in anger.

Sociable Type Joins pals for a pee whether he wants one or not.

Timid Type Cannot pee if anyone is watching, pretends he has been and sneaks back later.

Nosy Type Peeps over partition to have a look at the other fellow's thingy.

Indifferent Type All urinals being occupied, uses sink.

Clever Type Pees without holding tool, shows off by adjusting tie at the same time, pees on foot.

Vain Type Undoes 5 buttons when 2 will do.

Absent-Minded Type Opens jacket, takes out tie, pees in pants.

Worried Type Is not quite sure what he has been up to lately, makes a furtive but close inspection of tool while peeing.

Disgruntled Type Stands for a while, grunts, farts, tries to pee, fails, farts again and walks out muttering.

Conceited Type Holds 2-inch tool like a more...

Most of us understand that our self worth and feelings of achievement change as we go through life. While everyone has different aspirations, it appears we all have some common benchmarks for what success is. Really it all depends on your age. Consider the following:At age 4, success is not peeing your pants At age 16, success is "gettin' a little" At age 25, success is graduation and a weddingAt age 35, success is about career and familyAt age 55, success is about graduations and weddings At age 65, success is "gettin' a little" At age 80, success is not peeing your pants!