Panda Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich.
    He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead.
    As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey, Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!"
    The panda yells back at the bartender, "Hey man, I'm a Panda! Look it up!"
    The bartender opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: "A tree-dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves."

    A panda walked into a bar. He went up to the bar and said "I'd like a steak and kidney pie and a Coke please" so the barman took his order and the panda went to sit down. Soon a waiter brought over his meal. The panda ate it up, thanked and tipped the waiter and paid the bill.All this seemed pretty normal until the panda pulled out a gun from the depths of his fur, pulled the trigger and BANG! shot the waiter.The barman came over and said "Wha.. wh.. You just shot my friend!!!"the panda calmly replied "Do you know what I am?""Why yes," the barman answered. "Your a panda.""Good," the panda nodded "Now go home and look up 'panda' in the dictionary." And with that, the panda walked out of the bar.The barman was a little unsure, however he was very eager to be enlighted on the subject of his friend's murder, so he went home to find his dictionary.After a while, he found 'panda' and quickly read the definition:PANDA:1. A more...

    A Panda walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a meal. When the meal finally arrives, he eats it quickly, then shoots a drunk, and leaves the bar.
    A patron walks over to the bartender and asks, "What was that all about?"
    The bartender replies, "Look up' panda' in the dictionary, pal."
    And so, the patron retrieves his Webster's dictionary from his coat pocket and looks up the word' panda.'
    "What's it say?" asks the bartender.
    The patron replies with a grin, "Eats shoots and leaves."

    A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich.He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead.As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!"The panda yells back at the bartender, "Hey man, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!"The bartender opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: "A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves".

    A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!"

    The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!"

    The manager opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: "A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves."