"Panda In A Bar" joke

A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich.
He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead.
As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey, Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!"
The panda yells back at the bartender, "Hey man, I'm a Panda! Look it up!"
The bartender opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: "A tree-dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves."

A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...

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A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas.
With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: more...

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A farmer is giving his wife last-minute instructions before heading to town to do chores.
"That fellow from close by will be along this afternoon to inseminate one of the mares. I've hung a nail by the right stall so you'll know which one I want him to more...

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Your momma is so fat when she fell in the grand canyon she got stuck half way down.

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A couple are driving along the freeway and the husband, who is driving, is complaining about everything... the heat, the long drive, the bad drivers, the country, etc... and his wife is getting tired of his depressing talk. So she says to him: "One more complaint and I'll more...

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Sputnik:Punchline is a rapid fire: I got a fuck for duck, a duck for a fuck, a buck for a duck, and fucked up duck. The joke must fit this. This joke is also my proof of sobriety to my wife.
Funny Joke? 36 vote(s). 67% are positive. 1 comment(s).