Mouse Jokes / Recent Jokes

Why did the cat put oil on the mouse? Because it squeaked.

Mickey Mouse is having a nasty divorce with Minnie Mouse. Mickey spoke to the judge about the separation. "I'm sorry Mickey, but I can't legally separate you two on the grounds that Minnie is mentally insane..." Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was mentally insane, I said that she's fucking goofy!"

What do rodents say when they play bingo? Eyes down for a full mouse!

MORE REJECTED CHILDRENS BOOK TITLES:
1. Juggling Knives is Easy
2. Where to Find the toys in the Oven
3. Where Mommy & Daddy Hide Neat Things
4. Kick, Scream, and Cry to Get What You Want
5. "Whatcha' Doin'" the Wonderful Phrase
6. 101 Games to Play in the Road
7. The Indoor Pool is a Big Potty and the Divingboard is the Flusher
8. Homemade Fireworks using a Bathtub, a Blowdryer, and a Fork
9. POP, goes the Hamster and other fun Microwave Games
10. Arthur Gets Hunted
11. Clifford and the Big and Yellow Semi
12. Monsters Killed Grandpa
13. The hit sequel to "Elvis is your real dad" Mrs.Clause is your real Mom
14. Chicken Poop for the Kid Soul
15. All Guns Squirt Water
16. When The Garbage Truck Came to Sesame Street
17. How Fun it is to Tie a Squirrel to a Kite
18. You Can Get Sucked Down the Drain
19. How to Make Sushi with Ordinary Goldfish
20. 101 recipies to make with Dog
21. If more...

Santa once wanted to transfer some files form one PC to another. Following was the steps followed by him.
1) Right clicked the mouse on the file which he wanted to transfer and selected CUT option.
2) Disconnected the mouse from that PC.
3) Took that mouse carefully and connected it to the other PC where he wanted to copy that file.
4) Right clicked the mouse and selected the PASTE option.

March 1 Wall Street Journal
Reprinted without permission
Edited for content
BEFUDDLED PC USERS FLOOD HELP LINES, AND NO QUESTION SEEMS TO BE TOO BASIC
AUSTIN, Texas - The exasperated help-line caller said she couldn't get her new Dell computer to turn on. Jay Ablinger, a Dell Computer Corp. technician, made sure the computer was plugged in and then asked the woman what happened when she pushed the power button.
"I've pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens," the woman replied. "Foot pedal?" the technician asked. "Yes," the woman said, "this little white foot pedal with the on switch." The "foot pedal," it turned out, was the computer's mouse, a hand-operated device that helps to control the computer's operations.
Compaq's help center in Houston, Texas, is inundated by some 8,000 consumer calls a day, with inquiries like this one related by technician John Wolf: "A frustrated customer more...

MORE REJECTED CHILDRENS BOOK TITLES:1. Juggling Knives is Easy2. Where to Find the toys in the Oven3. Where Mommy & Daddy Hide Neat Things4. Kick, Scream, and Cry to Get What You Want5. "Whatcha' Doin'" the Wonderful Phrase6. 101 Games to Play in the Road7. The Indoor Pool is a Big Potty and the Divingboard is the Flusher8. Homemade Fireworks using a Bathtub, a Blowdryer, and a Fork9. POP, goes the Hamster and other fun Microwave Games10. Arthur Gets Hunted11. Clifford and the Big and Yellow Semi12. Monsters Killed Grandpa13. The hit sequel to "Elvis is your real dad" Mrs.Clause is your real Mom14. Chicken Poop for the Kid Soul15. All Guns Squirt Water16. When The Garbage Truck Came to Sesame Street17. How Fun it is to Tie a Squirrel to a Kite18. You Can Get Sucked Down the Drain19. How to Make Sushi with Ordinary Goldfish20. 101 recipies to make with Dog21. If its Storming out the Best Place to keep shelter is under a tree22. The New Boy is Bad23. Your Nightmares more...