Mouse Jokes / Recent Jokes

A mouse and a lion walk were in a bar, drinking a few beers when a giraffe walked in. "Get a load of her" said the mouse, "what a babe!" "Well, why not try your luck?" replied the lion. So the mouse went over to the giraffe and started talking to her. Within five minutes they're out the door and into the night. The next day, the lion was drinking in the bar, when the mouse staggered in. The mouse is completely worn out, and can hardly hold himself up. The lion helped his pal up on to a stool, poured a drink down his throat and said, "What the hell happened to you? I saw you leave with the giraffe, what happened after that? Was she all right?" The mouse replied, "Yeah, she was really something, we went out to dinner, had a couple of glasses of wine, and she invited me back to her place to spend the night. And oh, man! I've never had a night like it!" "But how come you look like you're so exhausted?" asked the lion. more...

>>This memo is from an unnamed computer company. It went to
>>all field engineers about a computer peripheral problem. The author
>>of this memo was quite serious. The engineers rolled on the floor.
>>
>>Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit).
>>Therefore, if a mouse fails to operate or should it perform
>>erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Because of the delicate
>>nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be
>>attempted by properly trained personnel.
>>
>>Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining
>>the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder
>>than foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending upon
>>the manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using
>>the pop-off method. Domestic balls are replaced by using the twist-off
>>method. Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive. more...

a mouse gets a viagra 3o mins later he comes out of his house ad says"
right wheres that pussy now!"
by Ricky.L. Lewis

You look so ugly it loks like your mom was having sex with Mickey mouse, Mighty Mouse and Black ass Mouse.

A mouse was strolling along the jungle one day, and came across an elephant caught in a leg trap. Well, said the mouse, nows my chance. The mouse jumped up and mounted the elephant. Holding the elephant by the tail he started fucking the elephant. A monkey, sitting on a tree, looked down and started laughing. He grabed a coconut, and threw it at the elephant. Hitting him on the head. Ouch said the elephant. Then the mouse said. "Thats right baby, take the whole thing"

'Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Not a creature was stirring,
Not even a mouse.
'Cuzz the cat had pounced on him
And tore him apart -
Ate his mouse intestines
And chewed up his heart.
Kitty thought he heard sleighbells,
Which made him take pause -
He stopped daintily licking
The blood from his claws.
"Must be Santa," thought Kitty
(That quite clever cat)
'Cuz nobody else climbs down
The chimney like that.
Indeed it was ol' Santa
So jolly and fat
With a huge load of presents
And all for the cat!
"Wow, the best Christmas ever!"
Kitty thought with a purr,
Then he coughed up a hairball
And shed some more fur!

An Eagle is circling at about 5, 000 ft. when he spies a field mouse down below him. He dives down and eats the mouse. After a little while the mouse works his way out the eagles butt. Proceeding to look around the mouse says: "Tail gunner to pilot... Tail gunner to pilot.."The eagle says "what do you want?"The mouse asks how high up they are. The eagle thinks for a moment and then says "ohh about 5, 000 ft."The mouse then replies "You wouldn't be shittin me now would ya??"