Mexican Jokes / Recent Jokes
An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says,
"We're having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at least one of you can survive"
The four open the door and look out below.
The Englishman takes a deep breath and hollers "God Save The Queen" and jumps.
The Frenchman gets really inspired and hollers "Viva La France" and he also jumps.
This really pumps up the Texan so he hollers "Remember the Alamo" and he grabs the Mexican and throws him out of the plane.
There are many stories related to the sinking of the "Titanic". Some have come to light due to the success of movie. For example, most people don't know that back in 1912 Hellman's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. The "Titanic"was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after New York City.
The Mexican people were eagerly awaiting delivery and were disconsolate at the loss. So much so that they declared a national day of mourning which they still observe today. It is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.
There are two Mexicans talking. One is a new resident of the town.
The first Mexican says to the other, "Hey, Vato, this town is pretty rough. All the Mexicans know how to fight. So watch your back."
The other Mexican replies, "I don't need to worry, because I know
Mexican Judo."
The first Mexican asks, "What's Mexican Judo?"
The second says, "Ju don't know if I have a gun; Ju don't know if I have a knife..."
The Mexican was finally caught on the borderline of the US by an American cop.
The Mexican begged, "Pleese, siir. I muss stay here in America. I muss!"
But the American still wasn't convinced. So, the Mexican pleaded more and more with very bad English. At last, the cop, assuming the Mexican's English couldn't get any worst, said to the Mexican, "I will let you stay if you can use 3 words in one sentence."
The Mexican thought for a while, and replied, "Is all right. I say. I say."
The cop said, "The words are: Green, pink and yellow."
After a few seconds of consideration, the Mexican responded, "Da phone - it rang: Green, green, green. I pink it up and sez, 'yellow?'"
There was a Irishman, Mexican, and a blond guy, who were construction workers and they were working on top of a building. It was lunch time and the Irsh man opens his lunch pail and he gets cabbage and beef and he says, "If I get one more beef and cabage for lunch I'm gonna jump off of this building."
Then the Mexican opens his lunch pail and he gets a burrito, he says if I get one more burrito for lunch I'm gonna jump off this building. The blond man opens his lunch pale and gets a bologna sandwhich he siad if I get one more bologna sandwhich I'm goona jump off of this building.
The next day the Irish man opens his lunch pail and finds cabage and beef so he jumps off the building to his death. Then the Mexican opens hid lunch pail and finds a burrito so he jumps off the building to his death. Then the blond guy opens his lunch pale and finds a bologna sandwhich, so he jumps off to his death as well.
The next day at their funeral the Irish man's wife said, more...
Ok there is a blonde, a mexican, and an irish. THey all goto work and get their lunches. The mexican gets a taco, and says if he gets another taco again he will kill him self. The irish guy says if i get cabbage again ill kill my self. The blonde guy says if i get balony again ill kill my self too.
The next day they get their lunches. The mexican gets the taco, the irish guy gets cabbage, and the blonde gets balony. They all kill themselves that day.
The day of their funeral their wives are all sad. The mexican wife says " if i knew that my husband didnt want tacos i would have gave him something else." The irish wife says " If i knew my husband didnt like cabbage i would have gave him something else." The blonde wife says, "Hey dont look at me he packed his own lunch."