Media Jokes / Recent Jokes
Things learned from TV:
All crimes are solved in 1 hour.
The Good guy always wins.
When you`re trapped, you always find a way out.
A trip from Los Angeles to China takes 5 seconds.
All women still have makeup on when they wake up in the morning.
When you`re a hero, you will never get burnt in a fire.
Did you hear about this new movie?
It's about a guy who is terrified of addition problems...
. .."The Fear of all Sums"....
(AP) The Energizer Bunny, known best for "going and going and going..." passed away last evening at 12:42am.
Upon completion of the autopsy early this morning, the chief medical examiner ruled that the death was caused by acute cardiac arrest, induced by sexual over-stimulation.
Apparently, someone put the battery in backwards and the bunny kept coming and coming and coming...
Foul play has not been ruled out.
Six Bad Days
1. The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, they were both eaten by a killer whale.
2. A psychology student in New York rented out her spare room to a carpenter in order to nag him constantly and study his reactions. After weeks of needling, he snapped and beat her repeatedly with an axe leaving her mentally retarded.
3. In 1992, Frank Perkins of Los Angeles made an attempt on the world flagpole-sitting record. Suffering from the flu he came down eight hours short of the 400-day record, his sponsor had gone bust, his girlfriend had left him and his phone and electricity had been cut off.
4. A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking frantically with what looked like a wire running from his waist towards the electric more...
Q: Name a fawn, a lawn and a yawn.
A: Bambi, the White House grounds, and the new TV season.
When the media askes George Bush a question about the war he says, "Uhh, Can I use a life line?"