Maw Jokes / Recent Jokes

A country bumpkin family from Alabama decides to go to the Big Apple for the first Time in their lives; Maw, Paw and their son. They go into the Empire State Building. As they`re walking around they notice the elevator. Never seeing one before they stand in front of it bewildered.
While staring at it, an old lady in a wheelchair rolls up to it, pushes the button, the door opens, she rolls herself inside and the door closes.
The Alabama hick family watches as the lights for each floor light as it goes up. They continue to watch as the numbers go down again.
The door opens and out walks this tall gorgeous blonde. Legs to her neck. Great figure. Beautiful!
Paw looks at his son and says, "Quick boy, shove yer Maw in there!!"

' Twas the night before Christmas And all through the trailerNot a creature was stirrin'' Cept a redneck named Taylor. His first name was Bubba, Joe was his middle, And a-runnin' down his chin Was a trickle of spittle. His socks, they were hung by the chimney with care, And therefore there was a foul stench in the air. That Bubba got scared And rousted the boys. There was Rufus, 12; Jim Bob was 11; Dud goin' on 10; Otis was 7. John, George and Chucky Were 5, 4, and 3: The twins were both girls So they let them be. They jumped in their overalls, No need for a shirt, Threw a hat on each head, Then turned with a jerk. They ran to the gun rack That hung on the wall. There were 17 shotguns; They grabbed them all. Bubba said to the young'uns, "Now hesh up ya'll! The last thing we wanna do Is wake up yer Maw." Maw was expecting And needed her sleep, So out they crept out the door without making a peep. They all looked around, and then they all spit. The young'uns asked Bubba, more...

'Twas the night before Christmas And all through the trailer

Not a creature was stirrin'' Cept a redneck named Taylor.

His first name was Bubba, Joe was his middle,

And a-runnin' down his chin was a trickle of spittle.

His socks, they were hung by the chimney with care,

And therefore there was a foul stench in the air.

That Bubba got scared and rousted the boys.

There was Rufus, 12; Jim Bob was 11;

Dud goin' on 10; Otis was 7.

John, George and Chucky Were 5, 4, and 3:

The twins were both girls So they let them be.

They jumped in their overalls, No need for a shirt,

Threw a hat on each head, Then turned with a jerk.

They ran to the gun rack That hung on the wall.

There were 17 shotguns; They grabbed them all.

Bubba said to the young'uns, "Now hesh up ya'll!

The last thing we wanna do Is wake up yer more...

'Twas the night before Christmas And all through the trailer
Not a creature was stirrin'' Cept a redneck named Taylor.
His first name was Bubba, Joe was his middle,
And a-runnin' down his chin Was a trickle of spittle.
His socks, they were hung by the chimney with care,
And therefore there was a foul stench in the air.

That Bubba got scared And rousted the boys.
There was Rufus, 12; Jim Bob was 11;
Dud goin' on 10; Otis was 7.
John, George and Chucky Were 5, 4, and 3:
The twins were both girls So they let them be.

They jumped in their overalls, No need for a shirt,
Threw a hat on each head, Then turned with a jerk.
They ran to the gun rack That hung on the wall.
There were 17 shotguns; They grabbed them all.

Bubba said to the young'uns, "Now hesh up ya'll!
The last thing we wanna do Is wake up yer Maw."
Maw was expecting And needed her sleep,
So out they crept out the more...