Alabama Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Alabama:
    At Least We're not Mississippi
    Alaska:
    11,623 Eskimos Can't be Wrong!
    Arizona:
    But It's a Dry Heat
    Arkansas:
    Litterasy Ain't Everthing
    California:
    As Seen on TV
    Colorado:
    If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother
    Connecticut:
    Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less Character
    Delaware:
    We Really Do Like the Chemicals in our Water
    Florida:
    Ask Us About Our Grandkids
    Georgia:
    Without Atlanta we're Alabama
    Hawaii:
    Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru
    (Death to Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)
    Idaho:
    More Than Just Potatoes...
    Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good
    Illinois:
    Please Don't Pronounce the "S"
    Indiana:
    2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
    Iowa:
    We Do Amazing Things With Corn
    Kansas:
    First Of The Rectangle States
    Kentucky:
    Five Million People; Seven Last Names
    Louisiana:
    We're Not All Drunk Cajun more...

    After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was
    Enough (they could not afford a larger doublewide). So, the husband went to his doctor (who also treated mules) and told him that he and his wife/cousin didn't want to have any more children.
    The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy
    that could fix the problem. The doctor instructed him to go home, get a
    cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in Alabama), light it, put it in a
    beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.
    The Alabamian said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man,
    but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me."
    So, the couple drove to Georgia to get a second opinion. The Georgia
    physician was just about to tell them about the procedure for a
    vasectomy when he noticed that they were from Alabama. This doctor
    instead told the man to go home and get a cherry bomb, light more...

    An Alabama fan was driving down a country road when he came upon two Auburn football players hitchiking. He told the Auburn players to jump in the back of his pick-up truck. He then drove down the dirt road rather fast and lost control of the truck as they were going around a curve. The truck landed in a lake. The Alabama fan scrambled to the surface and swam to the bank. When he looked back at the lake, the two Auburn football players were still sitting in the bed of the truck looking frantic.
    As the truck began sinking the Bama fan yelled for the Auburn players to get out truck, to which they replied, "We`re tryin` to get out, but we can`t get the dang tailgate open!"

    An Auburn fan and an Alabama fan both go over to Tunica to do a little gambling. After a couple of hours the Alabama fan was broke. He looks over and sees the Auburn fan with a wheelbarrel full of quarters.
    The Alabama fan walks over to him and says, "Wow, where did you win all that?"
    To which the Auburn fan replies, "You see that machine on the wall over there? If you put a dollar in you get four quarters back every time!"

    Confessed killer and creepy pervert, John Mark Karr, may just be a creepy pervert. Authorities are begining to doubt his confession, some have even called it a vain publicity stunt. Questions are begining to surround the case. Questions like, how does a creepy, blue shirt pervert get past the interview for a teaching job? How could he be in Colorado, when his ex-wife, whom he married when she was 16, says he was Alabama. And why do we allow states like Alabama to let 16 year old girls marry creepy, blue shirt perverts.
    Even Jon Ramsey, Jonbenet's father expressed his doubts about Karr. "That's funny", said Ramsey, "I don't remember him being there when I was killing our daughter."

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