Magical Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Q: Why did Snow White get kicked out of the magical kingdom?
    A: She sat on Pinnochio's face and said,"lie to me baby...lie to me!"

    There was a magical mirror tht showed the prettiest and ugliest people in the world. The mirror said that, May Honzirop was the prettiest and the ugliest was Shakira Hobo. May was going to go in front of millions of people to get a Guinness world record.
    The mirror said, the day before May went on stage, "I think you'll brag about all your "success" and just become unpopular again.
    It was the next day. She was on stage with Shakira Hobo. She announced, now the mirror will choose the prettiest and the ugliest people."
    The mirror was still upset, but still decided to answer anyway.
    The mirror announced to about 25 million people, "The prettiest perso is Shakira Hobo, and the ugliest is May Honzirop, and that the truth!"
    Everyone laughed at May. The mirror said, Payback!"
    A minute later, May was piled in tomatoes.

    There were 3 men: 1 white man, 1 black man, 1 mexican. They all came up to a magical bridge. There was a sign and it said "jump of and wish for anything and you will turn into it." The Mexican went first and jumped of and wished for money, and he turned into a bag of money. The black man went second and jumped of and wished for a car and he turned into a car. The white man decided he didnt need anything so he walked across and tripped over a loose board fell off and said crap!

    One day a bunette, a redhead and a blonde walked into a thrift store. They noticed a strange-looking mirror in the back of the store, and asked the shop assistant what it was."It's a magical mirror," she replied. "If you look into it and say something true, it will give you your heart's desire. If you say something untrue, however, it will suck you into the mirror for eternity."The girls decided to give it s shot.The brunette stepped up. "I like ice cream," she said, and walked away with $1,000,000 in cash in her bag.The redhead stepped up. "I live in California," she said, and drove away in a sleek red sports car filled with spunky surfer guys.The blonde stepped up. "I think..." she started, and was sucked into the mirror for eternity.

    A Chap walks up to another chap and says:
    Chap - You're Merlin aren't you?
    Merlin - Why yes. . it's nice to be recognised!
    Chap - Bit of a Wizard. . I hear?
    Merlin - Well Yes. . I've been told I'm skilled
    Chap - Do tricks and things. . don't ya.. Magical stuff?
    Merlin - Magical. .. yes that's correct
    Chap - Turn Kings into Frogs. . and that sort of thing. . Is that right
    Merlin - Well Yes. . I suppose I could Turn a King into a Frog!
    Chap - Ever Mucked up. . Ya know, made a mistake?
    Merlin - Well Yes. .. hasn't everyone?
    Chap - Can you reverse a curse?
    Merlin - Yes I can. .. with knowledge of who applied the Curse and the actual words of enchantment, I could do it. ... Why?
    Chap - I'm Cursed
    Merlin - Really. .. and how long have you been bewitched?
    Chap - Years.....
    Merlin - Do you know the words spoken over you to lay this curse?
    Chap - Yeah. . can't forget them!
    Merlin - What were more...

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