Mad Jokes / Recent Jokes
There were 3 friends. Their names were SOMEBODY, NOBODY & MAD. One day they started fighting for some reason. Then mad called the police and said that somebody is fighting with nobody.
The police said are u mad, he replied, yes I am mad.
Who's there?
Mad'am
Mad'am who?
*My Damn* foot's stuck in the door!
Your mama's so stupid, she asked me to help her put a puzzle of a tiger together. I went over and she had a box of frosted flakes poured out on the table!
Q: What does a woman and a condom have in common? A: If they're not on your cock, they're in your damn wallet!
Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
A: "Where's my tractor?"
At the Senior Citizens' luncheon, an elderly gentleman and an elderly lady struck up
a conversation and discovered that they both loved to fish. Since both of them were
widowed they decided to go fishing together the next day.
The gentleman picked the lady up and they headed to the river to his fishing boat and
started out on their adventure. They were riding down the river when there was a
fork in the river and the gentleman asks the lady, "Do you want to go up or down?"
All of a sudden the lady stripped off her shirt and pants and made mad passionate
love to the man right in the boat. When finished the man couldn't believe what had
just happened, but he had just experienced the best sex that he'd had in years.
They fished for a while and then continued on down the river when soon they came
upon another fork in the river. He asked the lady, "Do you want to go up or down?"
There she went again, stripped off and more...
A female TV reporter arranged for an interview with a farmer living just outside Cornerbrook, Newfoundland, to find the main cause of the Mad Cow Disease.
The Lady Reporter: "Good evening, sir. I am here to collect information on the possible source of Mad Cow Disease. Can you offer any reason for this disease?"
The Farmer stared at the reporter and said, "Do you know that a bull mounts a cow only once a year?"
The Lady Reporter (obviously embarrassed) said, "Well, sir, that's a new piece of information, but what's the relation between this phenomenon and Mad Cow Disease?"
The Farmer: "And, madam, do you know that we milk a cow twice a day?"
The lady reporter said, " Sir, this is really valuable information, but what about getting to the point? "
The Farmer: "I am getting to the point, madam. Just imagine, if I was playing with your tits twice a day and only screwing you once a year, wouldn't more...
There were three friends, Mad, Nobody and Somebody. One day, Somebody fought with Nobody and killed him. At once Mad called the police and said,"Somebody killed Nobody." The police asked him,"Are you mad?" and Mad said,"How did you guess?."
Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, “Now don’t get mad at me….. I know we’ve been friends for a long time….. but I just can’t think of your name! I’ve thought and thought, but I can’t remember it. Please tell me what your name is. ” Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, “How soon do you need to know? ”
Q. Why does Rilla get mad when hes in a race? A. Because all his friends shout, "GO-RILLA!"