League Jokes / Recent Jokes

What's the chilliest ground in the premiership? Cold Trafford! How did the footbal pitch end up as triangle? Somebody took a corner! Why didn't the dog want to play football? It was a boxer! What did they call Dracula when he won the league? The champire! Which England player keeps up the fuel supply? Paul gas coin! Manager: I'll give you fifty pounds a week to start with and a hundred pounds a week in a year's time? Young player: OK, I'll come back in a year's time! Manager: Twenty teams in the league and you lot finish bottom? Captain: Well, it could have been worse.Manager: How? Captain: There could have been more teams in the league!

The Politically Correct National Football League would like to announce its name changes and schedules for the upcoming season:
The Washington Native Americans will host the New York Very Tall People on opening day.
Other key games include the Dallas Western-Style Laborers hosting the St. Louis Uninvited Guests, and the Minnesota Plundering Norsemen taking on the Green Bay Meat Industry Workers.
In Week 2, there are several key matchups, highlighted by the showdown between the San Francisco Precious Metal Enthusiasts and the New Orleans Pretty Good People.
The Atlanta Birds of Prey will play host to the Philadelphia Birds of Prey, while the Seattle Birds of Prey will visit the Phoenix Male Finches.
The Monday night game will pit the Miami Pelagic Percoid Food Fishes against the Denver Untamed Beasts of Burden.
The Cincinnati Large Bangladeshi Carnivorous Mammals will travel to Tampa Bay for a clash with the West Indies Free Booters later in Week 9.
And the more...

[Original-many ideas thought up after watching tonight's (4/29) game.]
Top ten proposed improvements for World League American Football for 1992
10. After ''big plays,'' pictures of players and what they really do for a
living.
9. Winner of World Bowl plays NCAA division I runner-up.
8. Two expansion teams: the North Dakota Boredom and the Idaho Oat Bran.
7. Fans allowed to participate on 4th down.
6. Bodacious-bouncing-cheerleader-cam.
5. Homer Simpson will be the announcer for the Monday night game.
4. ''Fan-appreciation'' night where the first 40,000 fans at any US
home game get a free beer.
3. Use of wrestling referees who "miss vital calls."
2. Football-cam (now you can see the action at the source!)
1. Pre-season WLAF.

RECOUNT DEMANDED BY METS
NEW YORK (AP) -The New York Mets announced today that they are going to court to get an additional inning added to the end of Game 5 of the World Series. The batting, pitching, and bench coaches for the Mets held a press conference earlier today. They were joined by members of the Major League Players Union. "We meant to hit those pitches from the Yankee pitchers," said the Mets batting coach. "We were confused by the irregularities of the pitches we received and believe we have been denied our right to hit."
One claim specifically noted that a small percentage of the Mets batters had intended to swing at fast balls, but actually swung at curve balls. It was clear that these batters never intended to swing at curve balls, though a much higher percentage were not confused by the pitches. Reporters at the press conference pointed out that the Mets had extensively reviewed film of the Yankees pitchers prior to the World Series and had more...

RECOUNT DEMANDED BY METSNEW YORK (AP) -The New York Mets announced today that they are going to court to get an additional inning added to the end of Game 5 of the World Series. The batting, pitching, and bench coaches for the Mets held a press conference earlier today. They were joined by members of the Major League Players Union. "We meant to hit those pitches from the Yankee pitchers," said the Mets batting coach. "We were confused by the irregularities of the pitches we received and believe we have been denied our right to hit."One claim specifically noted that a small percentage of the Mets batters had intended to swing at fast balls, but actually swung at curve balls. It was clear that these batters never intended to swing at curve balls, though a much higher percentage were not confused by the pitches. Reporters at the press conference pointed out that the Mets had extensively reviewed film of the Yankees pitchers prior to the World Series and had in fact more...

Most baseball fans are against Congress and the government getting involved in the league's steroid problems. But we're all okay having the Feds bail out the National League West.

RECOUNT DEMANDED BY METSNEW YORK (AP) --The New York Mets announced today that they are going to court to get an additional inning added to the end of Game 5 of the World Series. The batting, pitching, and bench coaches for the Mets held a press conference earlier today. They were joined by members of the Major League Players Union. "We meant to hit those pitches from the Yankee pitchers," said the Mets batting coach. "We were confused by the irregularities of the pitches we received and believe we have been denied our right to hit." One claim specifically noted that a small percentage of the Mets batters had intended to swing at fast balls, but actually swung at curve balls. It was clear that these batters never intended to swing at curve balls, though a much higher percentage were not confused by the pitches. Reporters at the press conference pointed out that the Mets had extensively reviewed film of the Yankees pitchers prior to the World Series and had in fact more...