Las Vegas Jokes / Recent Jokes

...Las Vegas continues to come up with interesting promotions in order to attract business. I stopped at a gas station next to a gentleman's club that advertised "Free Sex w/ Fill-up." I pulled up next to the pump, paid the attractive attendant, and was given a ticket that i could redeem around the back of the station. When I got there there was a big, burly, gnarly looking dude by the door. I asked him if he was the ticket taker and he replied, "No. I'm Philip."

Las Vegas's Bellagio hotel hosted its annual Pole-a-palooza competition, awarding a $10,000 first prize for the best shimmy-down performer. The event was affectionally called a "beat assignment" by journalists and patrons alike.

Nevada’s governor’s race took a scandalous turn this week when a cocktail waitress accused a candidate, Rep. Jim Gibbons, of trying to sexually assault her in a parking garage in Las Vegas.
Gibbons responded immediately by announcing he was gay, abused as a child and an alcoholic. When that didn’t work, he accused the waitress of harboring weapons of mass destruction.

Las Vegas has announced a new crackdown on homeless people in the city.
Basically, they want you to leave after you lose all your stuff.

The lead singer of 80's heavy metal band Quiet Riot was found dead in his hotel room today in Las Vegas. The only surprise is that it took so long.