Las Vegas Jokes / Recent Jokes

Las Vegas reacts to the tragic and sudden loss of renowned entertainer, Danny Gans.
Said Celine Dion, "He will be sadly missed."
Said The Amazaing Jonathan, "There's no replacing him."
Sigfried and Roy's, Roy Horn said, "The news shocked him like nothing before in his life......Well...maybe one other thing."

Las Vegas reacts to the tragic and sudden loss of renowned entertainer, Danny Gans.
Said Celine Dion, "He will be sadly missed."
Said The Amazaing Jonathan, "There's no replacing him."
Sigfried and Roy's, Roy Horn said, "The news shocked him like nothing before in his life......Well...maybe one other thing."

Forbes latest list of the 400 richest Americans puts Las Vegas Sands CEO, Sheldon Adelson, at number three, worth $20.5 billion. Forbes reports that last year the casino mogul made $1 million per hour. Sadly, he was paid in buckets of nickels.

A fire today closed the Las Vegas Monte Carlo hotel and casino.

Seventeen people were injured in the blaze but no O.J. Simpson memorabilia were damaged.

Former NFL star running back (and murderer) O.J. Simpson has been questioned as a possible suspect in an alleged theft at a hotel-casino in Las Vegas, Nevada, police spokesman said Friday. Simpson claims that he was conducting a sting operation to collect some of his own memorabilia.

In the room, police did find the items belonging to Simpson:

A Bloody Glove
A Bloody Knife
A Bloody football
A Bloody Heisman Trophy
A Bloody Jersey
A Bloody white diamond dress once belonging to Carol Channing and a pair of Bloody socks.

Simpson was adamant about having his name besmirched as a thief. "I hate being labeled a thief" stated Simpson.

According to the Associated Press, "Many people from other countries are flocking to the United States, to Las Vegas in most cases, to choose the sex of their babies. Well-off foreign couples are getting around laws banning sex selection in their home countries by coming to American soil, where it's legal, for medical procedures that can give them a boy or girl, if they want". The Chinese want boys, the Canadians want girls, and the Israelis want to win big.

Breaking News... Britney Spears has married OJ Simpson. Commenting on the wedding, Britney thinks the stability of being married again will help influence the judges decision to prove once and for all she is serious about raising her kids in a stable environment. OJ had no comment on the wedding, but smiled and said "What goes on in Vegas stays in Vegas".